Am I really Quitting??
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Yesterday from the time I left my evening class at 8, until I went to bed I thought about having a cigarette. Not the entire time, but repeatedly. Anytime my mind started to wander, it wandered to cigarettes. It is strange because I have never really noticed this craving in the past. But it is perhaps because I never thought I really needed to quit, so I would allow myself a cigarette every couple days, even when I was "quitting." So this is what it feels like to REALLY quit? Wow, this is going to be harder than originally assumed. But it feels rewarding that I didn't give in last night, I feel like I am really doing something good for my body, and I am not going to give in to that little voice in my mind.
So, this morning is snack day at work. They are doing breakfast snack day. There is always SOOO much food, and it is never healthy by my (or really anyone with any knowledge of healthy eating) standards. I am hiding in my cube and they are eating away as we speak. I prefer it this way, I have done the whole participating and just controlling what I eat thing, and everyone just pokes at me for not eating a lot. It is weird that in a society of overweight people, when people really want to turn their lives around, others tend to make it hard on them. Like COME ON, seriously. I just want to sit here and eat my high fiber Kashi cereal with almond milk, is it really bothering you?
Grr.. Enough of ranting. :) It is rainy outside today, but that is ok because I am doing spin class tonight. Twice in a week, I must be feeling adventurous. :) Really I just want to burn as many calories as possible before I go on vacation and let (a little) loose. I have been looking up wine tastings, and am excited I found an open wine bar for me and my friends to visit. We LOVE wine. :)
Happy Thursday everyone, one day closer to the weekend!