Am I really Quitting??

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Yesterday from the time I left my evening class at 8, until I went to bed I thought about having a cigarette. Not the entire time, but repeatedly. Anytime my mind started to wander, it wandered to cigarettes. It is strange because I have never really noticed this craving in the past. But it is perhaps because I never thought I really needed to quit, so I would allow myself a cigarette every couple days, even when I was "quitting." So this is what it feels like to REALLY quit? Wow, this is going to be harder than originally assumed. But it feels rewarding that I didn't give in last night, I feel like I am really doing something good for my body, and I am not going to give in to that little voice in my mind.

So, this morning is snack day at work. They are doing breakfast snack day. There is always SOOO much food, and it is never healthy by my (or really anyone with any knowledge of healthy eating) standards. I am hiding in my cube and they are eating away as we speak. I prefer it this way, I have done the whole participating and just controlling what I eat thing, and everyone just pokes at me for not eating a lot. It is weird that in a society of overweight people, when people really want to turn their lives around, others tend to make it hard on them. Like COME ON, seriously. I just want to sit here and eat my high fiber Kashi cereal with almond milk, is it really bothering you?

Grr.. Enough of ranting. :) It is rainy outside today, but that is ok because I am doing spin class tonight. Twice in a week, I must be feeling adventurous. :) Really I just want to burn as many calories as possible before I go on vacation and let (a little) loose. I have been looking up wine tastings, and am excited I found an open wine bar for me and my friends to visit. We LOVE wine. :)

Happy Thursday everyone, one day closer to the weekend!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    good for you! on EVERYTHING!!! I'm quitting - really quitting (fingers crossed) on June 1. We can support each other through this.
    3846 days ago
    Power to you, it's hard when people bring in yummy stuff to work and there's this whole pressure for everyone to eat it. I admit I am an offender because I bring in stuff for other people, but people here will eat anything anyways, so maybe I'm doing them a favor by making stuff with whole wheat pastry flour and splenda so at least it's partially healthy!

    Good job on the smoking, I've never been a smoker but a lot of people I know have and I've seen them struggle with it.

    emoticon , T
    3846 days ago
    I hate that crap, it makes no sense!!! Good for you for staying in your cube hehehe :)
    3846 days ago
  • COOP9002
    Cudos to you for quitting smoking. You can do this!!!
    3846 days ago
  • JMAGEE8871
    Best of luck in your quest to quit smoking. This is probably one of the hardest things anyone ever has to do.

    Great job on eating your Kashi and giving into the peer pressure of eating the wrong foods just because everyone else is.
    3846 days ago
    Your wine tastings are going to be even more amazing now that you're smoke-free!

    My taste changed A LOT after quitting! I always thought my sniffer was pretty good but that got better, too. You're a new you!

    Sorry people are giving you a hard time.

    3846 days ago
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