May 20th,2010

I have decided that I am going to go OFF my meds. I am having trouble though
I get more upset about the little stuff. everything annoys me to the point of wanting to just punch people.
But it is something I have wanted to do for a very long time.

I am also trying other things to help with the mood....and help heal the body. I will let everyone know later what that is.
But for now. please pray for those close to me as they will get the brunt of my anger. None of it is intended for anyone. and sitting here typing and mis spelling words is ticking me off. I want to throw the keyboard.

I want to cry, scream, lash out at the world. My anger comes from my past, my life is screwed up by my past, I am trying to put blinders on and rip down the rear view mirror so I stop looking backwards.
There are some things in life that should NEVER be looked at again, once the water has passed under the bridge...let it go, and let GOD!!!!!
I must go now because now again is not the time to rip open my heart and let it bleed. Soon I will have my chance