KITT52
750,000-999,999 SparkPoints 990,413
SparkPoints
 

switch of plan

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Feeling pretty sad this morning..I thought a chocolate muffin would be a good choice to make me feel a bit a better....
then my brain said..."ARE YOU KIDDING ME......YOUR NOT GOING TO FEEL ANY BETTER AND TOMORROW YOU MIGHT EVEN REGRET IT" darn where did that voice come from....
I'm wondering how many more people live in this brain....
any way good advice, I'm not going to drown my sorrows in chocolate.....I'm going to hold my head up high and know that sadness is part of life..
The step daughter and grand kids left this morning, a few days earlier than planned, ...today marks 7 years that my Mother died...
I need to say this one thing, if you think your smoking only effects you and your heath your WRONG.....the family you leave behind never gets over you...
My mother use to preach at me about being selfish and wanting my own way.....Now I know her smoking was her way of being selfish , it did not just affect her life and health, it gave both my sisters breathing problems, and also deprived us of our mother......


Have a healthy day and savor your moments


Kitt
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JAMESGIRLLL
    i try to drown my sorrows with sweets too...but.....it never really works and you just feel crappier physically and mentally later....

    hugs,
    jamesgirl
    3458 days ago
  • TRAILWALKERJO54
    Kitt condolences on the loss of your mom 7 years have gone by now please let it go...not the loss of your mom but your anger towards your mom. Your mom had to live her life and back then we didn't know as much as we know now about smoking. You have your life to live and you now have chosen to live it healthy - Reward yourself lol not with the chocolate muffin -but maybe with a piece of chocolate - and be happy .. You deserve it!

    emoticon Jo
    3458 days ago
  • SOCKITTOME
    Hang in there, Kitt...you will triumph over this, as you're already doing. And hopefully someday you'll be able to move past this sadness. We will always miss those who have gone before us. Don't let the sadness drag you down, though. Your mother made her choice, unfortunately not a good one. You've chosen to life a healthy lifestyle. Savor it and rejoice in it, and work on letting go of some of that sadness.

    Bummer about the kids leaving early. You'll have to make vacation plans to go visit!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3459 days ago
  • HEALTHYGAL01
    Anniversarys are tough. You did such a good job of corralling the bad habit voice with that new super smart voice. All those years of training it are paying off - keep those smart voices loud.
    3459 days ago
  • LAINIESNEWLIFE
    Can the voices in your head come over here and spend some time in my head, Kitt??? I think it would really help me out. lol

    My brother died of lung cancer almost 9 years ago. He had been a smoker, although he had quit several years before he found out about the cancer. My dad was a smoker for many years. He died of Lymphoma at age 55, which was almost 28 years ago. My sister was the lucky one. She smoked for many years as well. The dr.'s found a 33 lb. tumor on her ovary. It was malignant, but they were able to remove it intact and she never had to go through chemo or radiation. That was over 15 years ago. I still have two brothers who are smokers. I lecture them every time I see them, but until they are ready to do it, nothing I say will get through to them. My sister finally quit smoking cold turkey on her own several years after my dad died and several years before she found out about the tumor. I understand how you feel about your mom in this regard.

    Sorry that the grandkids left earlier than expected. I know that's hard on you. It will ease in time. Take care!!

    Hugs,

    Lainie
    3459 days ago
  • PENNYAN45
    You cannot lose 200 pounds without developing some powerful and helpful voices in your head! Lucky for you! I hope they stay there forever!

    It must have been disappointing to have your SD and grandkids leave earlier than planned -- and on this sad anniversary for you too!

    You can feel good knowing that what you have done -- losing all that excess weight -- will probably extend the years of your life. You will not be doing what your Mom did - however unknowingly she did it. You are a model for your children and grandchildren for how to improve your physical health through a good diet and exercise. You are to be congratulated for that!

    The only person you can control is yourself. And you have shown everyone how to do that!

    emoticon
    3459 days ago
  • OTTAWABOUND
    emoticon I'm sorry that you are mourning your mum. And thank your for the message about smoking's effects on family. I lost both my grandparents and beloved uncle because of smoking.

    I really appreciate your support and comments, perhaps a bit more than usual, because you have reached your goal and maintain it. And that you share those sneaky thoughts like 'chocolate muffin' that pop into our brains!
    3459 days ago
  • RAINBOWMF
    Huggsssssssss Kitt, you know this will pass.
    Bring on the Happy Kitt that knows she is loved and that loves what she has accomplished. Look in the mirror and see that happy ,proud Lady. Head up, step high make your day a great one! Hug that wonderful Hubby of yours. He is sad to day too.

    Hugsssssssssssssssss
    3459 days ago
  • SHANTODD420
    Hey Kitt,
    Can you make the fat voices go away in my head as well. Way to go on stepping away from the muffin. Keep going you are strong person and amaze me each and every day.


    Hugs,
    Shannon
    3459 days ago
  • MOV4WARD
    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    emoticon u did awesome Kitt from walking away from the muffin!

    I hope your feelings ease soon ~ maybe after a good night sleep or 2, something really funny to watch, talking with sweetheart..... it's ok, feelings are normal and usually scream about something crappy, so it's ok to cry a bit...

    i'm just so glad you're not soothing them with pastry!

    Hang in! (hugs) jules
    3459 days ago
  • BARBARAROSE54
    Good job on heeding that voice inside your head Kitt !

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3459 days ago
  • REENIT
    Great choice on skipping the darn muffin and Im so sorry for your loss. Anniversaries are hard but know that what you have done will keep you from leaving your family early. Good for you.
    3459 days ago
  • HAPPYSOUL91
    Kitt, I like the person in your head..keep her and maybe she has a twin that I can have?

    emoticon
    3459 days ago
  • BETHDISCOUNT
    sorry you been feeling down good choice on not eating the chocalate muffin
    3459 days ago
  • ANNANN63
    Way to go on not eating the muffin.

    You don't have extra people in your head, you just have the new you reminding you when the old you is thinking of making a bad choice.

    I have been working on sadness. I have bouts of sadness--all for very valid reasons. But being sad doesn't make things better so I am working on changing my thinking. What happened with your mother is fact and facts don't have to have emotions connected to them. Losing anyone we love is sad but we can choose to think about all the happy times when that sadness comes. Remember all the good times with your mother. You are right--she was being selfish with the smoking but I doubt she really understood what she was doing. Having a history of problems with food makes me understand what anyone with a habit is dealing with. Quitting any habit (including over eating) is not easy and it is complicated. Forgive her and spend some time remembering the best of times in her company. Love and good memories do not die--they are always with us.

    I hope you feel better really soon.
    3459 days ago
  • 4ME2WIN
    You are allowed sad days. Let me know if someone says we aren't. I will stand up to that.

    {{{{{{{KITT}}}}}}}} My arms around you during this day's grief. I know how hard it is to lose someone so important and even after years, the anniversary is always a trial.

    Tomorrow will be better and you are doing great!
    3459 days ago
  • COUNTING_DOWN
    Stay Strong. Tomorrow will be a brighter day. You learned much from life and are growing from it each and every day.
    3459 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

More Blogs by KITT52