I didn't go to the Dr yesterday. The only reason I was going was so he could tell me what the VNG test revealed. Well, I was sick and never had it. So I called the VNG place and rescheduled the test for July 8th. Then I called the Dr. and asked if I should still should come in. He said no, Come in on July 13th. So I got out of that one....
Well I did wind up cleaning the mess all up and painted the kitchen. Yes you heard me right. The kitchen. I said no but was over ruled. But it all is done. The rest of the walls will be washed down for sure. Mel wants to go look at living room furniture today so we will go just to look.
TIME TO LAUGH OR GROAN...
) Robert went to his lawyer and said, 'I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it.' The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied, 'Not a problem, leave it all to me.' Good jokes
Robert looked somewhat upset and said, 'Well, I knew you were going to take a big portion, but I would like to leave a little to my family too!'
3) A policeman spotted a jay walker and decided to challenge him, 'Why are you trying to cross here when there's a zebra crossing only 20 metres away?'
'Well,' replied the jay walker, 'I hope it's having better luck than me.'
4) Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.
Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!'
The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.
5) Brenda and Terry are going out for the evening. The last thing they do is put their cat out.
The taxi arrives, and as the couple walk out of the house, the cat scoots back in.
Terry returns inside to chase it out. Brenda, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explains to the taxi driver, 'My husband is just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.'
Several minutes later, an exhausted Terry arrives and climbs back into the taxi saying, 'Sorry I took so long, the stupid idiot was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger several times before I could get her to come out!'
This Will Rot More than Your Teeth
The hospital's consulting dietitian was giving a lecture to several community nurses from the Southampton area of Hampshire.
'The rubbish we put into our stomachs and consume should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is terrible. Fizzy drinks attack your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous because of fertilizers and pesticides and none of us realizes the long-term damage being done by the rotten bacteria in our drinking water. However, there is one food that is incredibly dangerous and we all have, or will, eat it at some time in our lives.
Now, is anyone here able to tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'
A 65-year-old nursing sister sitting in the front row stood up and said, 'Wedding cake