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Spiraling . . . . down, down, down

Saturday, July 10, 2010

I see it has been awhile since my last blog entry which is a good indicator of my week. Work has been an absolute disaster. My department was re-structured the first of June, and since my job was eliminated I started my new job (two pay grades below my old level) that is quite different from what I used to do. My old job was a manger job, my new one is not. Anyway - I am THANKFUL to have a job, don't get me wrong. As my new job evolves, new things are added everyday that are quite different from what I used to do. They require skills that I have not acquired. Again, not necessarily bad, who doesn't want to increase their skill set? This week, I went to my boss ( who ironically was my old boss) with some concerns I had about the way our new team was progressing. He responded the following day by assigning MOUNTAINS of busy work to the team, and then writing a mandatory schedule change into MY schedule that is vastly different from what I was working. This culminated in an argument between us that played out in front of my entire new team.

In my previous blog, I mentioned going off my plan. With the stress of the week (can you say emotional eater) this has continued through today so far. I have had all things that I know are bad, and I am not sure I see an end in sight. Let's see - carryout pizza, check. Carryout Chinese, check. Starbucks for breakfast, check. Donuts, check. Popcorn slathered in butter,
check.

My therapy continues on my frozen shoulder, but we are making SLOW, slow, slow progress. There is a fair amount of pain that is worse at night and wakes me up anywhere from 6-12 times a night on any given night. Calling the Doc next week and looks like cortisone is in my future. This has drastically curtailed my exercise, when I come home from therapy I am physically beat. The next morning I feel like I was in a car wreck. Sore.

This blog is so far been about self-depreciation. I need to put it down on paper, and I am not sure where to go next. I want this to be my journey to health and write motivational and inspiring blogs, but I am down. It feels better to see it here, but the paths are many and I am not sure which one to take. It is so hard to stay committed, my Spark friends.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PURPLESPEDCOW
    # 1: You vented to friends and that is what we are here for.
    # 2: It sounds like a lot has been going on with your life the best you can.
    # 3: Your physical therapy is your workout for the day.
    # 4: Things will get better. We are praying for you. We are on your side.
    # 5: Listen to the others and follow their advice. You want this. You can do this. We are behind you and with you!
    3797 days ago
  • SVELTEWARRIOR
    I am so sorry your are having a rough time. I sypathize with the emotional eating.....I am one of those myself. Now having said that, you know everything you are doing wrong so one step at a time change what you are doing. If you feel stressed blog or sparkmail instead of eating or better yet go for a walk. I know you can do this!!!! I am hear if you want to vent. I want you to succeed!!!! Now you want it too!!!!
    3797 days ago
  • RISENPHOENIX
    I'm sorry things are so rough, I know it is really hard to stay on track when you have very little control in the rest of your life (work), but it is important not to let the stress win. Take a different route to work that avoids Starbucks and fast food, same on the way home, leave your cash and credit card at home so you don't buy carryout, find food you really like and cook it at home! I know you can do it!
    3797 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6447544
    Sweetie, you wrote it down, you have been down, now there is only one way for you to go now, and that is up.

    Enough of the blues, time to sing a new song, a happier tune , maybe a little diittie emoticon , but I want you to turn yourself around, you know you can do it, you did it before, starting right now just change one thing for the better ,

    I say this because I care about you, and I don't want anymore hurt to come your way, but I can't do it alone, you have to want it too

    Ronnie
    3797 days ago
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