I'm convinced

If I didn't know before, I know it now. There's always something. Always some excuse to go off plan, to sabotauge your efforts, to eat out of an emotional place. I realize now (and you think I would learn this at a younger age) that it's all excuses.

We had to put our dog to sleep yesterday. We knew it was coming. She was old and had a hard time getting around. I always said that when she stopped eating we would take her in. Well, that happened and now she's gone.

I can't believe how much I cried. Even though we were totally prepared for this, it's still so sad. But, did this mean I should drink a half a bottle of wine? Or eat a ton of chips. Someone might say that the eating and drinking aren't important now...but I think that this is when it's MOST important. I need to deal with the sadness in another way.

My brother and i were talking yesterday and we were saying how it's been an incredibly emotional year starting with my husband's colon cancer surgery last July...his complications (he's doing fine now), my mothers huge ordeal (see past blogs), my cousins death, my daughter moving away...and on and on.

I think I need to prepared for the next "thing." I want to be healthy and strong and able to handle what comes my way.

I guess this is a lesson I need to learn and relearn.