Monday, July 26, 2010
I got a telemarketer call today. Hissssssssss!! Rattle!! Strike!! FANG BITE!!
I hate these kinds of calls. I'm usually in the tub, or on the throne, and have to drag my naked, drippy, soapy, lathered bod to the phone and it's even worse if I'm on the throne. I won't gross you out too much with that picture but you know what I mean - Shuffling to the phone with your pants around your ankles in a less than hygienic state. Gross.
Why do I bother? Because I get few calls so I worry that it could be our sick elderly parents and instead it's some friggin pest. Arrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh!!
I'm on the Do Not Call list and I have complained about these calls before to the proper authorities and, everyone else with ears and half a brain, but nothing is ever done about it. I'm kind of a nice person (okay I'm exaggerating) but not so much with people who won't leave me alone. If I could strangle them through the phone I would.
Once I had this one "phone-whore place" that was literally driving me crazy. I asked them not to call. Told them to put me on their do not call list. Informed them that I was on the official do not call list. Griped that I was going to complain to the phone company, my congressman, my representative, the sheriff, the state police, the attorney general, the governor of Illinois, Barack Obama, the FBI, the CIA, the Army Rangers, the Green Berets, the National Guard, Oprah, and Dr. Phil but nothing worked. I begged, cajoled, pleaded, threatened, and it fell on deaf ears. They would switch me to a number to put me on THEIR do not call list and charge me for a long distance service call that would be charged to my local phone bill. 15 buckaroos. I was so angry and shaking so hard when I would call Ma Bell that I could hardly talk for foaming at the mouth. I would tell Ma that Hades would freeze over before they got a frigging dime from me to pay these friggin mothers. The phone company always apologized and removed the charges. It's a good thing because trying to reason with me was like talking to Son of Sam.
It was especially bad dealing with these turds because I was working on my vices at the time and had them all beaten except for...........................
. cursing. I was really trying hard and then these buttholes from Ohio decided to robocall me constantly for 5 solid days. I told them no, no, no, no, no, no, no. A hundred times no. Nyen, nein, nay. They seemed to be fixated on me. My cursing returned in a big way. I ran through all the ones I knew and was making up new ones and combining old ones in refreshing ways. I finally had my fill of their crap and the next time they called I picked up the phone and waited for their spiel and a live person to pick up and nicely said hello and then SCREAMED........ well............... I can't say exactly what I screamed but it was 2 words and one of them was the F bomb and the other was off. Then I slammed the phone down. I was livid. I must have sprouted horns on my head. So much for the no cursing rule. My son was home and I walked past his room and then stopped and went back and stood in the door and we looked at each other and both died laughing. He had wanted to laugh at the time because it sounded so hilarious but said I sounded fairly insane. He was more than a little shocked at my phone etiquette especially since I answered the phone so sweetly. They did leave me alone for a while though. I have an unlisted number now and am still pestered. No rest for the wicked.....
Steps - 15569
Miles - 6.38
Calories - 1618
Net Carbs - 138
Proteins - 84
Steps - 20,764
Miles - 8.52
Calories - 1541
Net Carbs - 120
Fats - 51
Proteins - 98