What I have changed
Friday, August 06, 2010
I was thinking earlier about things that have changed about me since I have started this mission, for real, this time. I thought I would share since they make me happy. :]
-More calm and understanding. Less likely to fly off of the handle at my boyfriend and then regret it later. I don't think I've "broken up with him" when I was really upset in months. :]
-More self control. I don't feel like I have to drink as heavily, while I am still working on this.. I have been paying more attention to the side affects of booze, and am less apt to just drink it, even when I want to sometimes.
-Self confidence increased drastically. With this change has come a lot of other changes, somewhat of a chain reaction. I feel like I deserve to be treated as an awesome woman, since I am. I don't let shoddy guys at the bar talk to me in an innapropriate manner thinking it's harmless flirtation, I don't let some friends impact my mood and mooch off of me like I once did, I don't feel like I need to be noticed by everyone in the room, I don't feel threatened by prettier women, etc. It feels great to learn to really be comfortable with myself, in my skin, and not compare myself to everyone else all of the time.
-Accountability. I am much better at holding myself accountable. Not only for my work outs and eating, but for the amount I drink, how I react to Bruce, the amount of money I blow, the time I spend watching TV I don't really care about, and the time I spend learning new things about myself.
-Self discovery. I have been learning so many things about myself and what I am interested in! I have never really felt like I had a personality that stood out from anyone else, I just tried to mimic those around me (especially my cousin Sam because she is this beautiful fun free spirit). Now I feel like I can take little pieces of what I see around me and those that I really cherish I can incorporate into myself. But I want to be more than that. I want to be different than all of my friends, I want to blow their minds (AND MY MIND!) with my awesomeness. :] I love the way my mind works, I just need to really put it to work.
-Strength. I feel more strong both physically and emotionally. I don't cry for no reason as often, and I keep my calm in stressful situations MUCH better. I can carry heavier stuff, and now I want to instead of just wanting someone else to always do it.
I know there is more, but this covers a lot of it. I am really happy for the woman that I am becoming. Sidebar- I think it is really funny that my school gives me the option to turn down grant money... In case I am thinking to myself "I have enough money this semester, I don't really want the FREE money..." hahaha
Have a nice weekend everyone, I have a lot of thinking and reflection to do.