Tweak Till I Squeak
Sunday, August 08, 2010
Yesterday was the anniversary of my maternal grandma's death. She died on August 7th, 1998. My mom on August 14th, 1996 at exactly the same time only 2 years earlier. My paternal aunt died 2 weeks later than mom in 96. My mom and dad grew up across the street from each other. My mom and aunt were best friends but they later had a rift that never mended. I'm now the only one alive that remembers these dates. I'm the oldest living female in my family and have been for over 10 years. I have a couple of cousins who are much younger than me. This isn't my favorite time of the year for obvious reasons. The resurrection lilies or naked ladies usually bloom at the time of their deaths. It's weird because one bloomed early and I thought the rest were not going to bloom but then a bunch more came up later.
Summer is usually the period in which I am disciplined as I have less appetite but not this year. I was bad over the holidays and not that good since then. I was lucky to get back off the 10 pounds of weight I gained over the holiday and it took me 3 month to do that. I'm supposed to be setting an example for others and I'm not. I don't expect to be perfect but I don't want to be a continuous plateauer either. For me the first 3rd was easy to lose, the second hard, and this last third is a bummer. The really sad thing is that I am eating better than I ever have and have cut out the daily fast food, daily candy binges, daily snacking binges but still the scale barely moves. I'm eating less calories and exercising more but I have this sneaking suspicion that at my age and level of activity I'm going to have to eat at the low end of my calories to lose and not much over that to maintain. That means 1200-1300 to lose. 1400 to 1600 to maintain. To do that I have to choose every calorie wisely and mull the question, "Is this food the maximum bang for my buck?" "Will it cause cravings?" "Can I make a wiser choice?" I have done that already to a certain extent with my breakfast and lunches. There is very little fluff to cut out of them and none that would allow me be able to be satisfied and not completely miserable. At any rate I won't give up but will just keep tweaking away.