Ha, I have done it.
And they said it couldn't be done.
Okay, well maybe THEY didn't say it.
Maybe I did.
Oh yeah. Forgot -- the only person in my head is me, so I shall explain.
I currently weigh 171.8 lbs.
I have lost a total of 174.2 lbs., which is just about what my husband weighs (no divorce jokes, please).
Oh yeah, baby!
I have lost over half of my body weight.
Hell, I'm .8 lbs. away from having lost 175 pounds.
Am I done?
Got another, erm, 25.8 to go.
I am still overweight.
I still have nights where my hand dips into cereal a little too much, although I dip less, and it is cereal and not chips.
I still have clothes in my closet that are too small.
I still need to be faster at 5Ks.
I still order pizza for company events (it's cheap -- I wish other stuff was cheaper and easier to stretch, but there you have it).
I am living my own life now. And it's a pretty decent one, if I do say so myself.
See, I think Billy Joel got that lyric right, the one in my title. We get fat, we get tired, we get complacent. We get sick and doughy and slow and winded. And we are -- who are we, again? That is not us.
Sure, we tell ourselves that it is us. We accept it and let it wash over us, until the years have gone by, and those years tumble into decades and we ARE the fat person. We are whoever that is.
But we aren't. We are inside, struggling to get out. We are in the fat cage, and we need to break free of it. Ever see a prisoner of war escape movie? There's action, to be sure, but the real work is in the slow, steady dripping, the chipping away of mortar, the careful forging of documents and the slow sewing of civilian clothing from scraps and bits of thread, with a needle made by grinding a nail on stone.
There's another line in this song: "But there's gotta be more to life than just try, try, try" and, I'm sorry, Billy, but you got that one WRONG.
Trying is all we've got. We do, we attempt, we work, we wrangle, we dance around, we pump, we measure, we haul ourselves and our lives from Point A to Point Z, with Q and S and all the others in between. And trying is actually good enough.
Did you know that? It's true.
Because if all we saw in our lives, if all we celebrated, were perfect successes, we'd never get off the ground. We'd never do, we'd never haul, we'd never get there.
I am eight-tenths of a pound away from 175 off. I am a bit doughier than I was a year ago when I was actually 10 pounds heavier. I am slower in 5Ks. I am not living it perfectly and completely correctly, not always honest and right, delicate, careful and true.
I say, celebrate today, for what it is.
I have been living someone else's life.
I don't care about them any more.
Time to be free.
Come along. I have room in my jalopy. But I call shotgun.