Monday, August 30, 2010
Yes, I am singing in my head. :] Must be the coffee, I am generally not this chipper early in the week.
Weekend was interesting. Friday night I ended up going to my friend Bernadette's and hanging out with my lady friends. I drank a glass of wine and an equally shallow glass of some fruit concoction. I wasn't feeling boozing up at all, wanted to be able to go home and not have to crash at a friend's house. Once I got back home Bruce pist me off so I ended up sleeping at a hotel. Only bad thing about living together, when I want to make a point by not sleeping with him I have to sleep on the couch or leave. And leaving made the most sense at the time. Until I spent 80 dollars on a room at the Marriott.. But the sleep was great besides being so mad I was seeing red. I don't even think that the reason I was mad is worth diving into but overall it was all these little things I've been trying to ignore over the past few weeks that have been building up and then it took one little thing and *BAM* I exploded.
When I got up on Saturday, I went to the gym and worked off a nice 500+ calories of frustration. I then went to the park and laid out my blanket under a huge shade tree and read everything that was required for class this week. I am really proud of this, I hardly ever get all of my reading done ahead of time. And it was GORGEOUS out. I even did a little leisure reading as well. I went to my friend Candace's for dinner (I was really trying to avoid the man) and hung out with her until about nine. When I got home, Bruce was in the same place as he'd been when I left-asleep on the floor in his room. I kept making noises to wake him up, and before long we had a long serious conversation about how our needs are clashing and we really have to work on this and blah blah blah. I don't know if I feel like we made any progress. I think so, but it is hard telling with someone who internalizes everything. We shall see.
We ended up walking across the road to the bar and having quite a few drinks. Great way to handle the stress. Then we came home and drank some more and I remember bursting into tears because I was almost positive at that state of mind that our love is beyond repair. My drunk self doesn't have the most positive outlook we shall say. Bruce took me to bed and then I woke in the morning feeling fine.
Went grocery shopping and had an overall really nice Sunday. Was feeling much better and reassured Bruce I don't want to leave him, I just want him to make me feel special and as though I am appreciated as a person. And not boring, he makes me feel boring when he always plays on his phone anytime we are alone. Damn smart phone.
Bruce BBQ'd two whole chickens, some crab claws, and a huge pork butt to be pulled into pork sandwiches. And I wonder why I can't eat decently on Sundays... He always makes enough food to feed everyone he knows and then doesn't invite anyone because he'd rather just hang out in his boxers and watch comedy skits than host. It works great for him as far as lunches go, he always makes it at least to Thursday before he runs out of food for lunch each day.
I accomplished everything that I had planned to this weekend besides cleaning out my car.. I hate that chore, but Bruce gave me a coupon he has for a free wash and vacuum at the local car wash, so I have no excuse not to do it this week. I am busy this week at work, and going to St Louis to visit a friend this weekend. Should be an alright week, and I am ready to get it going. Next week or the week after I should receive my school money, and that is exciting.. I cannot wait to get some decoration on my walls of my home and a little more furniture. Yay. :]