The image staring back at me
Friday, January 05, 2007
Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror in total shock and disbelief at the image starig back at you? I have been having alot of those moment lately. The way I look right now is not the way I ever wanted myself to look. I knew I would never be a size 2 because I was blessed with the bone structure of an amazon woman, like that of the women in my dads family. I also was blessed with being short like my dad. Still I knew I would never be super model skinny. I was always big and I had packed oneven more pounds towards the end of highschool(I was a troubled teen), but after Highschool I had lost alot of weight. Then I got pregnant with my daughter and my looks went down hill. I was starting to make some strides when I met my dh but then I got pregnant with my son. Severe post partum depression took over after he was born and my looks went even farther down south. as I have stated before I knew I would always be not skinny but I was shocked when at my yearly physical a year ago, when the doctor told me that according to my Body mass index(BMI) that I was concidered obese. I never ever thought I would get this big. I should have known things were not right with my body during my pregnancy with my son. It was a very hard pregnancy. with the weight of him as I carried him and my over weight I needed my husbands help just to role over from one side to the other when I slept. Not to mention The push start I needed to get out of bed. I have vowed to get myself into the best shape I can be. I have begun to show someof the signs of diabetes and I want to avoid that. I also want my kids to see from example how to live a healthy life. There 's also the fact that I can't get prenant again until I am down to a healthy weight. Most important, I want to look like the woman I was meant to be.