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WHY ?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I often ask my self WHY ? How can you tell whether it is god's will or just bad luck. Well all my plans have been derailed again. My knee surgery is off and my neurologist informed me that the MRI results say I need to have neck surgery as soon as possible. Within the next two months. She is currently trying to get me into the first available surgeon that she trusts. She has increased my morphine and I now get to wear a soft cervical neck collar for part of the day, that is if I want to lift my head to eat or use the computer. I am not sure how to diet ,keep the weight loss going and exercise while being flat on my back. I have learned from sparks to try and find the positive in all circumstance and that I am looking forward to surgery hoping it will help with all the lower body pains. I am looking at this as a blessing, not a curse. There has to be a reason. I refuse to believe it is all bad luck ! I still have my goals and I still want to move out and get a new life on my own. Maybe it is better it happen now while I am not totally alone. He hasn't stepped up to take care of the things I do and some things I have had to ignore for now. I have been working all summer on getting the lawn really healthy before winter and it is starting to die out. Things like not being done like not being able mop my floors bother me. He is so unreliable he put his ice cream in the fridge. If I hadn't gone for an apple we would have had a huge mess that I would have had to clean up. Once I get the surgery thing going my friend will be here to help me.
I have noticed a trend on sparks lately. There have been so many people not just myself getting bad new, so many heart ships. This has also had me asking why, why these people whom I care about. Is it punishment or just challenges to see how committed we are to a healthier life. How do you know when you get an answer from god. When do you know to stop trying? When do you stop praying for your friends and the strength to get healthier?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD1951302
    Yes, the whys of life! I guess all of us are stuck at that 3 year old level where we ask WHY!

    We do not stop praying. We keep on praying. We keep on trying. Maybe things don't work out the way we think they will or should, but we keep on praying.

    I am continuing to pray for you!!!
    3611 days ago
  • 2BHLTHY4LIFE
    Sending you empathy and many prayers and emoticon and I will keep sending positive thoughts and prayers and hope you will be guided to understand where your life's plan is meant to be and go! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Diana emoticon
    3611 days ago
  • KAT7457
    you can still exercise when you are in bed, you can move your arms, hands legs and do exercise that way any way to get your body to move is better than just laying there and not doing anything.you can do leg lifts, knee bends, arm out and back, go take a look at the team list of how do do exercise i posted they are for ppl in a w/h but you can still even in a regular chair and ~indygirl has a great thread she posted how she does things and its great so please check this out and if i were you tell hubby to help or hit the curb, sorry i am going thru the same things so i support you. sending good thoughts and prayers for you. please let me know when you have surgery. the team will be praying for you. hang in there one day at a time sweet Jesus. ask GOD WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?? mu sister told me to say that everyday and I do have it on my profile on FB.you can sparks mail if you have any ?? hugs kat
    3611 days ago
  • FLOWERDALEJEWEL


    Holly you have to concentrate on getting yourself healthy even with all the surgeries you will have to endure. Leave the "useless one" to himself, if you can't mop the floors don't worry, I've yet to see a floor fall apart if it didn't get mopped. You WILL soon be healthy enough to move out on your own, then the world will be your oyster. Sending good thoughts to you at this trying time.

    emoticon emoticon
    3612 days ago
  • LOVES_ANIMALS
    Sending you love.
    3612 days ago
  • WILLOWWINDS
    First off you mention heartships not hardships. So yes they weigh on the heart and that comes from caring. If we didn't care it we wouldn't be human.


    Is it a punishment no.

    Like the quote I used on today's blog.

    "Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were to go through our life without any obstacles, we would be crippled. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Give every opportunity a chance, leave no room for regrets."


    Remember PROBLEMS ARE ONLY OPPORTUNITIES IN WORK CLOTHES.


    We must always believe and always keep trying.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3612 days ago
  • ENUFF81020
    I wonder if there is a blessing in the fact that they found whatever is going on in your neck. I do know for sure that we should never stop praying and that we should never stop trying to do our best. Sometimes our goals might need to be changed to fit the big plan rather than our desires, but we never quit asking for help and giving thanks for all that we do have. Sometimes giving thanks for the food that we have (no matter how healthy, if it is what we have) and giving thanks for the clothing on our back is what we need to do.

    That said, I am sorry for what is going on in your life. there is no easy surgery and you are looking at multiple events. I know that you are struggling with hardships that many people won't ever have to deal with--but thank goodness that you can have procedures that will improve things. As for the yard and floors and the like--you may need to resign yourself to the same as I have. I can only do what I can do, and if the rest is undone, I can be satisfied that I have done the best within my reach.

    Listen to the doctor and follow directions to the best of your ability. I'll keep praying for you!
    Gentle hugs,
    Sylvia
    3612 days ago
  • PURPLESPEDCOW
    You never stop trying and you never stop praying. We all have challenges in our lives, some more than others. Stay strong, take one day at a time. Things will get better.
    3612 days ago
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