Under Construction Saturday for the ((((( Sending SKINNY Vibes! )))) SparkTeam
This whole process is really frustrating the heck out of me. I’m older now, 48, so all the things I’ve done in the past to drop weight don’t work as well as they used to. Plus I have some health issues that interfere with my plans and life as a whole.
I’ve been on Spark People since September 1st, and had a 3 pound loss my first week, only to gain six following a crisis situation that I obviously didn’t handle well. Since then I’m blocked, the weight is staying and my body keeps going through these flare ups of bad health.
Thankfully, during this period of NOTHINGNESS I’ve been reading The Spark, so it’s helped me to see that this isn’t a diet, it’s a lifestyle change and that slow and steady can still win the race. That’s not a mentality that I accept easily, but when I became ill with Chronic Fatigue Immune Deficiency Syndrome I learned that everything had changed and nothing will ever be what it was again. Now it’s learning to enjoy the life I have and quit mourning the life I used to have and the person I used to be and figure out who this new person is going to be.
Anyhow since I’m under Construction I’m going to do the exercise in Chapter 9 of the book, The Spark. Chris Downie says to make a list of 50-100 things you’d like to do in your lifetime. They can be big or small, practical or frivolous and from these “wants” perhaps I’ll be able to envision a more realistic vision of who I am again.
I guess it’s pretty obvious that part of my weight-loss-block is my poor, distorted self-image. However, weight has been an issue for me ever since I was a child, and with the exception of one brother, most of my family is heavy. I’ve dieted and studied nutrition enough that I could have another degree in it. I’ve obsessed about my weight since grade school; went to my first “quack doctor”, the kind that gives out diet pills, when I was in 9th grade. My parents did not go with me, and the guy took my blood pressure through my ski jacket!!!! I learned a long time ago that diet and exercise were a much better way to go, but then I became excessive with that when I was in ROTC in college.
My whole point in bringing that stuff up is that this time it’s a lifestyle change and I’m NOT going to take pills and I AM going to work on my issues by working through The Spark’s visualization and goal setting to see who the Susan is that comes through this journey.
Eventually those pounds will come off. Eating right and exercising always works sometimes just not as fast as I'd like.