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So I binged I Little - Operation Collarbone

Sunday, November 28, 2010

I struggled with writing this blog entry because I was a little ashamed. But I think if I am going to share my success with you guys that I should be honest enough to share my failures. Tonight was the first slip I had in eight weeks of healthy living. Deep down I knew that it was coming, it usually does when ever I start dieting but it usually comes a lot sooner than eight weeks in. I binged, not on usually tempting stuff, weird stuff like I ate half a bag of wheat crackers and maybe 20 mints. Now it may not sound that bad to you but anything over my calorie limit is still unwanted calories. The thing I noticed tonight as I ate was that it was not about the food at all. It was as if I couldn't stop eating. The funny part was that I was watching an episode of that hoarders show and thinking how the hell did those people allow themselves to get like that, not realizing that I do the same thing. I may not medicate myself by holding on to stuff but I do it by eating. If I am honest with myself I could feel this binge episode coming all day I was feeling sorry for myself, feeling lonely, anxious and a bit depressed. All of a sudden i got so annoyed at the long road ahead of me to lose the weight that i just wanted to eat. But this moment of weakness is different than any I ever had. Because I know that It is just a moment, it has passed and I somehow feel stronger because I had it. I know that tomorrow is another day and I will make it this time. You know what helped me regain my strength knowing that I have a community of support in my fellow sparkers. You give me so much hope emoticon
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  • DIETCOKEGIRL-1
    I think a lot of us can identify with you on this one. I know I certainly can!!! I've binged on strange things, too. I think that really shows that it's an emotional thing. Way to go for recognizing what you were doing and why!
    3410 days ago
  • ABB698
    Your honesty about the 'binge' shows how far you have come with yourself! Realizing the situation and acknowledging it is huge progress! Tomorrow is a new day and you will rock it!!!

    Keep up the good work!
    3410 days ago
  • DIFROMWYOMING
    I took something really positive out of your blog: you are re-defining what is acceptable to you. In the past, 1/2 a bag of wheat crackers and some mints would have been a snack. Today, it's a binge because it was over your calories for the day. That, my friend, is progress!

    3410 days ago
  • PHOENIXK26
    WOW! I really, REALLY appreciate your honesty in this post. When I read it, I felt like it was something I should have written hundreds of times. Please know you are not the only one going through these moments. However, by sharing them, you not only helped yourself but you've helped me and who knows who else.

    Keep trying!You had a wonderful "Aha!" moment and I bet it helps you in the longrun! emoticon

    Karyn
    3410 days ago
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