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How should I take this?

Sunday, January 02, 2011

I love to throw parties. My hubby and I have entertain constantly throughout the year, culminating in a HUGE Halloween party with upwards of 50 people. Everyone tells us what a wonderful time was had, and please invite them again.
We never get invited anywhere. Now I am not expecting a grand time, however, it would be nice to be invited for cocktails once in a while. My kids are teens and so don't need a babysitter and the girls have been known to act as babysitter for friends with younger kids. So that is no excuse. We always bring a thoughtful hostess gift, flowers or candles.
Every get together we host I wear a little handmade apron. I buy them from Etsy or antique stores. I receive many compliments on them, so I purchased an extra to give as a hostess gift to whoever had us up over the Christmas break. No one did, so I gave it as a thank you to my daughter's friend for showing Kate how to work the sewing machine.
Please don't say "Oh, we are so busy!" So am I! I homeschool the two younger kids and have volunteer work and, of course, am the constant chauffeur to each of the kids activities. Along with that, I seem to be the only mom who cooks, so the kids friends are always over, making cookies or whatever.
So this year, when I announced it was the last Halloween party, everyone comes to me and tells me "Oh, no! Just have everyone bring food!" as if that mattered to me. I like preparing the food. I just want to be invited back! Really, now, is that so difficult. Geez, I'll take hot dogs, I am not fussy! Hubby said, "Lets see how many times we get invited out and then we will decide whether or not to host the big party!"
So far, no invites.
Sorry to sound like a meanie, but I really needed to get this off my chest. It has been bothering me for a while.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LJAMISON6135
    I think some people just never "think" of getting outside of their small box and taking initiative.
    3761 days ago
  • SUNNY238
    I'm in a similar situation to you. I'm busy with homeschooling and taking care of 2 little ones, and I love to host parties....but no one ever invites us out. Even when they are going out as a group...I'm not invited. The way I solved it is to look at the situations. Who are your friends and what are their personalities? Do they host parties and you're just not invited...or do they just not host parties? I found that I'm the only one in the group that likes to play hostess, everyone else is more casual and don't do get togethers that require an invite. If there are gatherings and you're not invited, look at the people again? Were they only inviting work friends, or gym friends, etc? If you still feel that you're being left out, or that no one is returning the gift of hostessing you might want to bring it up to some of your closer friends. They may not realize you feel this way; I have a lot of friends who are oblivious and when I mentioned it to them, they said, we just know how much you like to host. Then the problem was solved and they started inviting me out...not because they felt they had to, but because they realized that sometimes it's nice to be the guest too. Don't know the entirety of your situation, so this may be all things you've done before. But, if you love hosting...keep it up. It is nice to be invited back to things, but don't give up on something you love just because you're not if you haven't investigated why (although I hate the "need" to investigate). Happy Sparking!
    3763 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7403040
    I understand how you feel. I've had freinds before and I always had to be the one to initiate going out or getting together.
    3763 days ago
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