Selfish about SP - I am a non-spreader of Spark
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I really like SP to be separate from the rest of my life, even though it reflects who I (think) I am real life. I'd feel self-conscious if I knew someone I know in person might come across my entries and whatever else I feel like sharing. I mean not that they couldn't now, but I guess I don't want to encourage it.
Not to be dramatic, but it seems like every person I've come across on SP feels like a kindred spirit. I feel like I'm in the middle of this big group of close friends, the most supportive friends I've ever had when it comes to my personal goals. You all "get" me, so I feel free to express myself. I really enjoy chatting with and encouraging other people here because I want to give back all the warm fuzzies I get from all of you.
So I feel a little guilty when I think of the ways some people I know could benefit from SP, but every time I think of sharing it with them, I get all selfish and want it to be "all mine". Maybe I'm just afraid they won't love it here as much as I do. They might see it as just an ordinary "diet" site, and... That's where the thought ends. After that is just a wordless feeling of not wanting to take the chance of messing up something so important to me.
Even when I'm away from SP a while in body, I'm here in spirit. I know there's this welcoming place waiting for me when I'm done wasting days on end and ready to participate in my own life.
As usual, 4 am ramblings. I really need to learn to go to sleep!