Overwhelmed and losing my mind!!! (A Rant)
Sunday, January 23, 2011
I am so FRUSTRATED!!!! I've been dealing with some health issues lately and because of that I haven't been able to do much. Not only have I not been able to exercise because of the pain but I've fallen behind on my housework because of it!!! I have OCD and falling behind on housework is a MAJOR trigger for panic attacks and so on for me. I've been doing my best to catch up on some things BUT when you are hurting so bad you can barely stand or walk what are you supposed to do? I'm going to call my doctor in the morning and see if they can get me worked in before my normal appointment scheduled for the 31st. I stopped taking my OCD/Depression medicine over a month ago without telling my doctor because it made me sleep all the time. Now I'm paying the consequences more than ever before.
We bought a new scale this morning so that we can weigh in the privacy of our own home. Before this we were having to go to my husbands job and weigh on the cargo scale. That's how far I've let myself go. We bought a scale that weighs up to 400 lbs. and I was scared to death to get on it for fear that it wouldn't weigh me. I was ashamed of what I weighed and even started crying when I realized that my husband saw what it said. I am having a hard dealing with the fact that I weigh 80 some pounds more than he does. I'm going to start working out tomorrow if it kills me!!!!! With the amount of pain I've been in lately it may just do that!!!!! PLEASE pray for me that I make it through this next week without completely losing my mind.