I hate my naked body but . . .
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
I love the way I look in clothes. I weigh 159 today. I never thought I would see the 150's again in my life. I had weight loss surgery - RNY - in August of 2009. My goal was 170. Both my surgeon and my family doctor thought that was a good weight for me.
It took awhile to get to 170, but then I pushed harder and now I am very happy with my weightloss. I wear size 10 jeans and medium sweaters that make me look very skinny with their body hugging closeness. The jeans make my butt look fab. I can walk into a store and pick up size 12 dress slacks and know that they will fit!
I am not bragging, I am expressing gratitude to God that he made this possible. A year and a half ago, I didn't think I would be walking any more. I needed a cane because my knees hurt so bad. One is full of calcium spurs and the "good" one gave out one day doing stairs. I pulled a bunch of things that shouldn't be pulled and bruised things that should never be bruised. But I can walk again. Praise God. I can do my gazelle and even the eliptical and bike without knee pain. Thigh pain, yes as I use muscles that were so long unused, but no knee pain.
Back to the naked body. I hate looking in the mirror in the morning when I get into the shower and dress. So much loose wrinkly skin. I need to come up with a positive thing to say instead of looking at my boobs which look like something out of an old National Geographic magazine. You know the ones the flat hanging, tuck them in your belt kind of boobs. Good thing my husband likes the way I look naked and is very supportive, cuz I doubt that plastic surgery is in the cards for me. But thank you God for my weight loss. Thank you that I can sit on things I used to be afraid would not support my weight. Thank you that I don't have to be embarrassed that my big hind end might knock something over. Thank you that my hips and thighs are slim now and I never thought they could be. Thank you God that my insurance paid for surgery. Thank you God that I am healthy now!