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Secret desire

Sunday, February 13, 2011

My husband has always weighed less than me. Even when I was skinny, before kids....he's always weighed less than me. Of course, back then it was only a 5lb weight difference. Now it's a 30lb difference.

But still. I guess I have it in my head that women should weigh less than men. Of course, I've got 3 inches on him....logically I know that there is a physiological reason for it. But still....I have this secret desire to weigh less than him.

Last night we went to dinner w/our friends. Kind of a last hurrah before Dad moves in with us. Someone said to DH: Hey! you've lost weight! And DH thanked him....yup! he's lost 15lbs. No one said anything about my weight loss. As of last week, it was 9.5lbs. I know, I know....slow is the weigh to go. And while I'm seeing subtle differences in the way my clothes fit, I'm also waiting for others to notice.

Don't get me wrong. I REALLY want DH to lose weight. Through the years he has packed it on (like me)....but he's never had a good sense of portion control.....or what is a healthy snack. He's never tried to deny eating yummy foods so he can get fit. To him it was always a negative thing to sacrifice simple eating pleasures for the sake of health.

We both started our weight loss journey at about the same time.....after the first of the year. I had it in the back of my mind that he would cave....and I would continue and eventually be slimmer than him. It's always worked like that....he's never committed to it.

Somehow tho, this time is different. He is committed. He's finding that he can be satisfied with smaller portions. He is making better choices. And he's exercising several times a week. In other's working for him! And he's finally seeing results after his hard work....which is reinforcing the good behavior!

Don't get me wrong....I'm THRILLED he's committed to it....and seeing results. But there is this secret desire in me that hopes he'll eventually cave....and I'll continue on....and eventually be smaller than him. Is that wrong? I dunno....but it helps to talk about it here.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Don't wish he would sacrifice his health just so you can be smaller. My BF has always weighed less than me during the 5-6 years we've been dating. Recently, I lost weight and kept it off, while he lost and has been putting it back on. Now I'm 20 pounds less than him... but he's putting weight on by eating unhealthy food and not working out very often. I don't wish him an unhealthy lifestyle so I can be the smaller one. I can't wait until he finishes school and changes jobs to one he likes so he has the time and desire to eat better and exercise more.
    3503 days ago
    I can understand your desire to be smaller than your spouse. During most of our relationship, I have been smaller mostly because dh is taller. But recently we were pretty close in weight with me weighing more occasionally. I'm glad that table has turned again now. I definitely feel better being the smaller one again. Spark on!
    3504 days ago
    Hey don't feel bad if you are a tad envious... I know we all usually are especially when it is a hubby. I totally understand the dynamics around why men lose faster ect but doesn't make it easier to like. lol
    As you say, just keep on doing and knowing that slow and steady is going to keep it off longer. I don't know your situation but hope that you don't have emotional eaing with dad moving in.
    We are debating the same thing so understand if you do.
    HUGS and great going you hve lost more than I have this year! you are doing great! emoticon
    3505 days ago
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