Monday, February 28, 2011
Well, I can for sure say that stress is my downfall. I am totally a stress eater. When life gets too much for me...I can't get enough food. Of course, I don't eat the healthy stuff even when it's right there in my fridge. I have carrots and hummus, milk, water, chicken breast already grilled with seasoning, spinach, strawberries, bananas, apples, sweet potatoes, grapefruit, 12 grain bread and peanut butter, fish, broccoli and that's just to name a few of the things readily available...what do I do, jump in the car specifically for a trip to whatever fast food place sounds good. If I didn't have to tote the kids in and out of the car I would make a special trip to subway for a salad (because I view their's as better than mine even though I have the same ingredients in my fridge), but there is no drive thru, so I skip it and go to McDonalds or Runza (a Nebraska chain). I get a Dr. Pepper that I don't even want, eat a few fries (unless it's Runza where I will eat ALL of the fries), and then chomp down a burger and maybe a few left over chicken nuggets from the kids. If I'm being really bad I'll swing through Starbucks. This is my typical binge when I'm stressed. Eating like this can last from one meal, to a string of meals over a week time. Usually after a week I'm done with the binge and back to my healthy eating.
I know stress reducing techniques and I use them on a daily basis, but sometimes everything comes crashing down all at once...you've had that happen? Right? Last week a close friend went into the ICU for heart problems (he's being released today!!), I had an important paper due for my Masters course, I have 2 little ones under the age of 3 who pick up on my stress and act out accordingly (I do not blame them for this), I have, like so many people, a bit of money trouble, my husband is deployed, I had a military conference to attend, I'm having trouble finding someone to fix my roof on my budget (which means volunteers for free) and I can't find any me time through all of this. Finally it all hit me and I had a good 4 or 5 days of crap eating.
Good news...I have lots of people who support me, even though I don't always recognize it when I'm in my stress filled frenzy, I have people who will do anything for me, I have a great family, I'm lucky that I get to talk to my husband almost daily, even if it is only IM on facebook. I know how to eat healthy, I have a personal trainer who is teaching me some great strength training, I have the opportunity to further my education, I have a house, I just paid off my car and I have so many resources to help me with most things I need assistance with.
I'll continue to work on my stress eating. I know it's there, but it's going to take time. I don't want to admit I'll have my bad days and weeks, but I will. I know they will be there and I won't beat myself up for it. I accept it, and I'm doing my best to learn what causes the stress so I can avoid it in the future. Since last week, I've already gained some insights on things I can change and I'll be doing that as well as reaching out for some additional assistance that I've learned exists.
I'm only human after all :)