March 1, 2011
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
Making an effort to reconnect after a longggggggggggg absence. I've read some of your blogs and Wanda I always read and make an effort to do some of the challenges. It seems retirement doesn't mean you have time on your hands. My friend and I decided to do a quilt raffle for our church. That has occupied the first couple months just getting it ready. We are now selling tickets and getting the other prizes ready for the drawing. Five in all. We have a goal and have achieved a third of it the first weekend of sales. The chances will be available until Palm Sunday. This is our spring dinner for the parish and we will have the drawing that day. Our fish fries begin this Friday so that is for the next seven weeks. Seems someone is always finding a project I need to do. We have been remodeling. Refinished the basement in time for Christmas and getting ready to lay carpet and put in a new front door. I don't seem to be "busy" but my days continue to be full and finding time to blog just doesn't happen.
I have decided however I have to be more aware of my own needs. Today on TV it was discussed by a celebrity how she had had self esteem issues. I believe most of us do. Whether we are dealing with it by allowing those around us to push us in directions we don't necessarily want to go denying our own needs to the extent we exist only to serve out the wants of others. There is a difference between someone's wants and someone's needs. Some of us deal with it by playing the "I" card inflating our own egos to give ourselves worth. It makes me view those who irritate me with boasting not with the more common feeling of irritation to looking at the individual and wondering what aspect of their life is lacking. Praying for them rather than judging. I've always been a good "judge" not one of my better attributes. This too I find to be self esteem issue. Judging someone is order to elevate myself.
Eating has always been a way of avoiding things...........cleaning house ...........finishing projects...............filling voids of all types. I am in the process of "detoxing". For me that means leaving the sweets candy cookies and cake alone. If I liked alcohol as well as sweets I'd be an alcoholic. Fortunately that is something I have escaped. But an addiction is an addiction and can only be dealt with when faced head on. When I'm eating healthy my mind is clearer I function more efficiently. The mind plays a very important part in my weight loss journey. I have to admit healthy eating truly gives me a satisfying feeling and the part I still have to figure out is why when it feels so good to eat right and exercise I still sabotage my efforts to be all I can be.
My life is good no it's great. Great husband and kids. The laughter we share everyday. My best friend that lives next door and she and her husband are like family. Clean sheets on my bed that smell so heavenly from being on the clothesline outside in the sunshine. Good visit with my sisters today. My wonderful sewing machine and serger that has features I still want to explore. I spend ten to twenty minutes each morning looking around the room I'm in and giving thanks for all I've been given both materially and those things you can NEVER place a value . They truly are invaluable. All this and yet I struggle. Perhaps because I feel I have so much more than I deserve.