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Oh NO I'm thinking again

Thursday, March 10, 2011

I had time to think this morning as I was exercising.....I am still feeling very happy with myself that I did not turn to food when my emotions were getting the best of me.....
I thought way back to when i first started with Sparkpeople.. the excitement and the exhilaration I felt each week as the pounds came off. 1 or 2 pounds a week, after I lost the first 100 pounds I thought WOW I know the secret... I am doing this and enjoying it too.
i was never really hungry, I was eating my mini meals and exercising every day.....then it got a bit harder but I was still happy and pleased that I was loosing 1 pound a week and maybe even less a few week....the next 100 pounds came off.....finally I reach my goal weight and I was walking on the clouds, I could not wait to share my story with the world, well at least any one who again I was really flying high...telling my self I am amazing I lost 200+ pounds.

then the real world hit me...I did not really have but a few pounds to go to get to my so called Ideal Weight.....then as I have said before the real work do we live this way for the rest of our lives.....some days are so hard some day I cave in to not so healthy foods...some days I say what the heck...I deserve this .....I have been doing so good....
I wonder when will this get easier, when will I wake up each day and not worry about food and exercise....when will I just be perfect......on darn I said goal in life is to be perfect....I want the perfect life......I want ...I want....I want.....
well after 63 minutes on the bike reality hit me in the gut......Beverly Ann you are never going to be are never going to have a perfect stop the nonsense right now and face it your just a human , nothing more or less...YOU ARE HOW EVER A PRETTY GOOD HUMAN AND FOR THE MOST PART YOU ARE REACHING EVERY GOAL YOU HAVE SET....YOU ARE GODS CHILD AND YOU ARE WHAT HE MADE YOU..IN HIS EYES YOU ARE PERFECT SO ACCEPT IT AND DARN IT BE HAPPY WITH IT......

so of I go to help other who have not been as lucky as me, who each day teach me to be thankful for all I do have.....and for my spark friends ...


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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You are so right!!! Great for you!!!! I've lost 60 lbs and am already flagging!!
    3168 days ago
    Somewhere there has to be peace of mind about the food thing.

    I have never met my goal weight so I can go on to say that food did take over my life when I neared that point.

    You have done so well, yet you struggle with thoughts of going back to eating.

    Do you really believe you would go so far as to gain again?
    I don't think so, I do think you are too hard on yourself, like I said there has to be some sort of peace of mind about maintenance, there has to be.
    You should look for this. Find your Joy again Kitt, find what made you laugh and dance when you were fat, stop making everyday a weight day.
    Try it.

    Hugs Mary
    3168 days ago
    loved your blog Kitt. It was motivating. Thanks for sharing! - Denice
    3169 days ago
    Good for you, Kitt! You have done very well, and like the rest of us will never be perfect. The trick is to enjoy the life you have, keep moving forward, and help others along the way as you can. You are absolutely perfect just the way you just need to get that in your mind somewhere and let it grow. And even on the less than perfect days, you are perfect because you're you and, as they say, "God don't make junk." Enjoy the day, girlfriend, each and every day!
    3169 days ago
  • DOREEN957
    Keep up all your great work it is amazing all that you have accomplished. I sit back in awe of all the weight you have lost. You give me hope in my own struggle with weight. So a great big thank You and HUGS. emoticon You are emoticon .
    3169 days ago
    That was so good Kitt, and so true, I think in one way or the other we are all searching for perfection, and we need to realize that it just isn't going to happen. Sometimes I find myself saying if only this would happen I'd be happy. Just excuses. I can't wait for the what ifs, I need to be happy now. Thanks for sharing.
    3169 days ago

    so true for us all Kitt.

    You my dear are near perfect in our minds and hearts .. as you have done it and are living it...never will the road be a smooth highway with no traffic - there will be turns and bumps in the road but you are strong and will persevere -for what is the alternative?
    be unhealthy be obese ... that is not for you

    hugs JO
    3169 days ago
    Like I have said before time and time again. You are such an amazing lady and glad to have you for friend. You never seem to amaze me any goal you put forth you crush. You have a hard day and then get better and you just keep going. Have a healthy and happy evening. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

    3169 days ago
  • -POOKIE-
    Lovely thoughts as ever x
    3170 days ago
    3170 days ago
    and this is just the reason why you are such an inspiration for me and others.

    thanks so much Kitt !
    3170 days ago
    I look forward to your blogs everyday. It serves as a constant reminder that this journey is for the rest of my life, and I will always have to love myself enough to care about proper nurtrition and exercise. I am your age and I want to live a life on my own terms, not on the terms of illness. It may happen nevertheless, but not because I didn't take on the positive aspects of this very important journey.

    But really, is anyone free of exercise and good nutrition? Almost every normal weight person I know, and there are not too many of them I observe, worry about their food intake and their weight. Even my newest friend, one I chose because of her positive attitude, and her awesome active life, comments that her body is so different than it was when she was younger, and realizes that she shouldn't be so hard on herself.

    What you will probably get more accustomed to is being able to accept your new body and all the wonderful things you do to honor it. I suspect that you will grow gracefully into your hard earned lifestyle as you learn how to navigate the pitfalls!

    In the meantime, you are PERFECT, and wonderful just the way you are!
    3170 days ago
    3170 days ago
    You are a great human and certainly contribute to others well being! If we were perfect, we would be out creating worlds not living on this physical level
    3170 days ago
  • EDWINA172
    Lets shoot for PROGRESS and not perfection, ok? Also, don't tell yourself that you "deserve" a food treat. What you "deserve" is your health. You have done an amazing job! You are worth it. You "deserve" health and happiness.
    3170 days ago
  • D_K455
    I think of the darnest things while walking on the treadmill. Sometimes for the better and sometimes not
    3170 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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