Hello SparkPeople! Today marks day nine of the Bathroom Scale Boycott. I actually feel somewhat silly because when I sat down to type out my update on this adventure, I genuinely felt like it must have been WEEKS since I first claimed I was giving up the Scale for Lent. I was actually shocked to see it had only been nine days.
However, it has only been nine days which further proves my obsession with the scale was NOT a focus I wanted to have. This journey with SparkPeople has really opened my eyes to a few things. The first and most important at this point being the reality that I was placing too much of my value and self-worth in that number on the scale. I fell into a trap I was so convinced I was avoiding.
I know I'm not the only one who has reached that point. That day where you stand on the scale, it spits a number at you that turns your stomach, and somewhere a voice inside your head says, "Is that right? Seriously?"
Step off the scale and back on. The same number pops up and immediately feelings of lost hope, low self-esteem, self loathing, anger, hurt, depression, and who knows what else come crashing down on your insides.
I know too I'm not the only one who bottled all those emotions on the inside. There are several reasons we bottle the emotions. Maybe the people we normally open up to have heard us saying for months or years now "I'm going to get healthy, I'm going to change this", and then because we haven't changed anything those people start rolling their eyes or disbelieve our intentions the next time we voice them. Maybe those wide range of emotions have been eating away at us for so long that we've allowed those "lies" to really start eating away at our hearts and souls and we start believing that we are powerless to do anything.
And this is why I am boycotting the bathroom scale. Because in order to really change, I have to know the REAL reasons of why I'm changing. For some of us, it is health. Our weight is crippling us, it's gotten to the point that it truly is a health hazard that even our doctor's are beginning to show concerns over. HOWEVER, there is another BIGGER TRUTH out there.
I AM NOT MY WEIGHT.
MY WEIGHT DOES NOT DEFINE WHO I AM AS A PERSON.
The Bathroom Scale was not helping me to remember those key important truths. Therefore, I needed to let it go for a little while. I needed to think about the REAL reasons I wanted to "lose weight".
And those real reasons?
I AM WORTH TAKING CARE OF MYSELF.
I AM IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO SPEND TIME ON, TO CARE FOR, TO LOVE.
I'm not the only one who has trouble remembering that right? I mean, in the hectic day of loving my family, of wanting to be there for my friends, of wanting to take care of my co-workers, do I not sacrifice "me"?
I am also a Christian, and I have to say sometimes my fellow Christian women say "Hey, we are called to sacrifice ourselves, to serve others". I agree, we are called to sacrifice, however, our sacrifice should be FOR THE LORD. I can honestly say that I seriously doubt the Lord wants me to sacrifice my health and my well being to the point that I fall into a depressing and can't stand facing myself in the mirror, to the point I start believing those "lies".
Additionally, I can serve others while being an example to them of how to LOVE OTHERS while not HURTING THE SELF. That I think is very important.
The time that I'm not standing on the scale, I'm using to focus on really taking care of my health. Am I drinking enough water? Am I eating enough veggies, fruits, carbs, proteins, etc. to continue exercising, fuel my body, and care for it not just in a physically healthy way, yet an emotionally healthy way?
I'm spending my morning in the bathroom not staring at a bathroom scale and worrying myself over did I lose, can I lose, have I lost, yet looking in a mirror and taking all that wasted time and applying it to letting my inner beauty shine outwards. I'm looking in the mirror and remembering that the Lord has created me, that He loves me, that my Family Loves me, that My Friends Love me, and that I need to be taking care of myself from the inside out.
Our Value does not lie in a number. It is SO MUCH MORE than that. So wither or not you're like me and need to boycott the bathroom scale a little bit, or wither or not you just need to take time every day to see YOUR HEART as opposed to all your trouble spots, I encourage everyone to just take a moment to realize that you are WORTH making this change. You are IMPORTANT enough to make this change. You are ALREADY valuable, and the scale won't make you more or less valuable, it will just reflect your realization that you are valuable and worth taking care of.
Hoping the VERY BEST for everyone's individual journey here.