Im a little lost
Friday, March 25, 2011
I have been MIA on here in a while and i dont know why because this place, my spark friends are the most encouraging, supportive people i have ever known. I need that in my life right now. I am stuck, stuck in a marriage that makes me miserable, and i feel like it is really affecting my health and my kids in a negative way.
Bottom line, he is not nice to me. He belittles me, when i am an accomplished career woman. He has also cheated on me which he denies denies denies but i have it in black and white. Financially, we are burdened by credit card debt, which if i didnt have, i would be able to support my kids without a penny from him. I am trying to be nice because it is not good for my kids for him to not be able to live on his own or afford to do tings with them. So i suck it up, day by day, and don't have the energy to do what i need to do to feel good about myself.
The saddest thing is how this is affecting my kids, which he doesnt even see. My thirteen year old daughter talks about "when you get divorced" and its gonna happen. God help me but i cant wait for that day. I'd rather be alone than live like i am living right now.
So I am going to try and push all that to the backburner and focus on what i can control. My yo yo dieting and weight loss. I know how to do it. Weight watchers, exercise, eating healthy works if you follow it. I am an emotional eater. I wish i was someone who didnt eat when they were stressed. I would be a size zero by now.
Ive missed you my spark friends, and i am going to try my hardest to be active, to be supportive to all the wonderfuly people who have cheered me on! If i stumble, I will get right back at it.
Have an awseome weekend everyone!