**** Illness, Tests and an Upheaval !! ****

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Illness, Tests and an Upheaval !! ****

Well I am still sick. The leaking has started back up. I did have a lab technician come this morning and took my blood. Hopefully the results will give the doctor a better clue as to what is going on. I was feeling like I was getting better yesterday. My appetite was back and all. Today I had to force myself to eat. Very tired and my mental state is foggy.

My DH had his stress test yesterday. His appointment was 12:30 pm he got done around 4pm. He didn't get the results yet and he is trying to get them expedited to the doctor so he can take it in to the work doctor. I am trying hard not to think of what we will do if he doesn't get back to work soon. It would mean another month before I get any money.

I had a situation yesterday with Linda (my nurse). To give you a little details. Linda will get a few calls when she is here. It normally never bothered me she was on and off. She has a son who is a drug addict and living on the streets. The phone is important in case he calls. There is never a shift (which is 3 1/2 to 4 hours) where she doesn't get or make a call.

Now Linda has worked here for about a year and a half. I have had issues with her before about doing certain things such as doing my meals and she will not clean. Which is what is part of my carpal. However due to where I live it is hard to replace her. I had requested someone to take over a few of her hours when she was working for the other agency. They never found anyone for me.

I know she is a stressor for me and my husband. She complains about things my husband does. I think she expects me to tell my husband. There is a box in front of my dresser and she has to move it to get into it. There is a box in the kitchen so she can't get into the cabinet. The dresser is all messed up and not how she likes it....etc.....The other day she straightened the dresser and make such a big deal about how she did it.

Over the last few months she will get on the phone and chit chat with either a friend or the owner of the other job she works for calls from 10 to 30 minutes. This really upsets my husband because if she had any other job she would get be using the phone as she is.

So yesterday she is on the phone and I needed help. So I had to ask my husband. She gets off the phone and says "I would have done that". Then 3 mins later she is back on the phone. I needed help getting up and had to ask my husband again. She says while on the phone "I would have done that" I replied "how if your on the phone".

She explains how a friend was upset over her pet that is sick. I told her that is ok but there have been other times where she is on the phone for long periods. She gets all in a huff and said "Your being mean to me, my friends dog is sick". I told her I understand and that is fine for emergencies but other times I feel like she is taking advantage of it. She gets up logs out and leaves.

Now normally I would feel guilt and be upset over it. Now I haven't been feeling good and I know a little down. But I didn't feel like I did anything wrong. Maybe I should feel guilty?


**The Fox and The Rooster*
-Author: Unknown

Once there was a fox sneaked into a farm and grabbed a prize rooster.
The farmer saw him and raised the alarm to his dogs, and they started chasing the thief.

The fox, though he was holding the rooster in his mouth, was running very fast."Get him! Get him!" shouted the farmer to his dogs. "No!" suddenly screamed the rooster. "Don't come near me!"

"My master was very cruel to me," explained the rooster to the fox. "Tell him to stay away from me."

The fox was delighted. "He wants you to stay away from him!" he shouted at the farmer, in the process releasing his hold on the rooster.

The rooster flew up into a tree and stayed there till he was rescued by his master. Think twice before you open your mouth to speak.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Nope you shouldn't feel guilty...all you did was tell the truth. She doesn't get paid to talk on the phone...what a poor work ethic.
    3526 days ago
  • FATCAT92
    I agree with everyone - you should not feel guilty. She is getting paid to help you - not take or make personal calls. While she is with you, she should put 100% attention on you. No other job would put up with the kind of behavior that you have been putting up with. That nurse would have been disciplined and/or fired for the phone calls. Report her - now.
    3526 days ago
  • FLYER99
    Hi Willow. Don't feel guilty at all. You are definitely in the right here. When she is working at your place she is to devote her time to you. She shouldn't be taking and making unnecessary phone calls. I had the same situation when my Mom was receiving home care from workers that came in. I had to put my foot down and tell them to stop. They didn't, I informed their company and they dealt with it and it never happened again.

    Then they would spend much time writing notes back and forth to the other workers that came in to help Mom - personal stuff. I put a stop to that as well. When they were here they were to concentrate on my Mom, not themselves. Do not feel guilty. Some people just take advantage when they can. God Bless! Bob.

    3527 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/7/2011 9:23:39 AM
    Don't feel guilty about it...she is there to do a job and it doesn't sound like she is getting it done. Shame on her!!! Sure hope you are feeling better. You are in my thoughts and prayers as well as your DH.
    3527 days ago
    Very Sorry you are still feeling sick!! I hope you get your dh test results back soon.
    Linda is taking advantage of you i think. She should be helping you: and not talking on the phone; unless it is a family emergency!! I am so sorry ; you are going through all of this!! I really hope your Doctor finds out what is going on with your health!!! Thank you for the link to the song. I love "MERCY ME" music!! Take Care of you!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon I wish you had these!!!!!
    3527 days ago
  • FRAN0426
    You have nothing to feel guilty about, you surely did nothing wrong. She is there to help you, anything but an emergency call is not to be tolerated. She is plain lucky you haven't spoken to her long befor now about her continual habit of being on the phone---goodness you have all the right to go to her supervisor and complain, and please do, without complaining that agency will continue keeping people like her. If you get no satisfaction look inot contacting another agency, it is your right to do so and make sure they know up front you will not tolerate anyone who isn't willing to do what is needed to be done, and take or make calls other than emergencies. Good luck, let us know how things go.
    3527 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2244005
    I agree with the others, taking and making phone calls except for emergency calls, is not part of her job description. I would report her.

    Hope your hubby is allowed to go back to work real soon, and you feel better. Hope they find what is wrong.

    Take care!
    3527 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3604344
    You sound like so many others...my mother was in this situation. We went to through Catholic Charities. (we knew the other agency would send another bad aide) Catholic Charities found a trustworthy, health care aide who did the housework and never took any of my mother's things (she was covered under medicare). The aide we had through an agency did very little and stole money all the time. And my mother lived far out in the sticks. (please note, you do not have to be Catholic to use their services, they have excellent services for the elderly, which are superior to any private agency)

    I truly feel you should not feel guilty. What I do feel is, it is time to do some searching and get someone you can depend one plus feel comfortable with. This aide is taking advantage of your kindness. Now it is time for you to take advantage of the wisdom of your feelings....go for it...get someone who will give you the care you need & deserve.

    Pray first then make that call. Turn something unacceptable into something acceptable.
    3527 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/6/2011 8:40:35 PM
  • no profile photo CD3011801
    I dont think you should feel guilty i actually thinkk you were too nice.I hope you feel better and that ypur DH gets back to work soon.
    3527 days ago
  • DEE107
    thanks for sharing great song
    3527 days ago
    Report her. Plain & simple. I worked in Home Health too, as a nurse. Absolutely no way using the phone for ANYTHING social was acceptable. I feel for her dealing with her son's addiction, but truth be told, then she needs to go to NarcAnon to learn how to acceptably deal with it. That is not being heartless. As a matter of fact, that is spoken from my heart.

    But in the meantime, you do not have anything to feel guilty about. Call the agency.
    3528 days ago
    Report her. There are plenty of hard-working people out there looking for work that would be glad to to have her job. Seems to me that she is one of those people who mistake kindness for weakness. You deserve better. Get rid of her!
    3528 days ago
    I am so sorry you are having to put up with this kind of treatment. You deserve better. Can you contact the agency and let them know what is going on? emoticon
    3528 days ago
    You've got nothing to feel quilty over, she is totally taking advantage and she should be reported. She has to have a supervisor. That's where I would start. Good Luck!
    3528 days ago
    UGH I worked in home health care (not as a nurse) And I have seen people like this. It always infuriated me. She is totally taking advantage of you, and I agree emotionally abusive and lazy. Seriously I would report her and her company to the state. there should be some other type of assistance you can get. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this.
    3528 days ago
    nope nothing to feel guilty over. she should not be on the phone for more than emergency minute. if at all. feel better
    3528 days ago
    Love Mercy Me. As far as the nurse goes, you have every right to be upset. Her job is to come there and help you. Not for her to gripe and complain when she has to. I do not understand the agency that sent her. She isn't doing the job she is getting paid to do. emoticon emoticon
    3528 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9504745
    Don't feel guilty. I agree that you should talk to the agency. When she is there, she is working to help you!
    3528 days ago
    She's controlling and emotionally abusive, lazy and taking advantage of you and your husband. She should not be complaining to you about your husband- is she trying to drive a wedge between the two of you?

    I don't care if her friend is upset about an animal. You are a person and her job while she's with you is to take care of you, not her friends.

    My brother has caretakers and from my experiences with them I can tell you...you need to replace her before your husband goes back to work and you have to spend time alone with her.
    3528 days ago
    GREAT Fox & Rooster story

    YOU should NOT feel guilty

    she is NOT doing what she is supposed to be doing

    You need and deserve MORE

    3528 days ago
    Sweetie, you shouldn't feel guilty at all. She should, but I'm thinking she's just too shallow to catch on. Like you said, it seems she's all you can get right now, but I am praying for very, very much better days for you and your DH!!!

    Take care, my friend!
    3528 days ago
    NO, you shouldn't feel GUILTY!!!!! Linda is taking advantage of your kindness and patience. She is manipulating you. It is one thing to let someone do SOME of their personal business on your time, but she is going WAY OVER the limit! Is there any way you can call the agency she works for and let them know what is going on? I know it may be uncomfortable, but you need someone to be there for you, and Linda is not doing her JOB!! It is hurting both you and your DH! Please don't blame yourself for this ! But you definitely need to speak up and let her boss(es) know that you are in a critical care situation and you are NOT RECEIVING IT!!!! Wish I could help you, Willow, I really do!!!! Please don't accept less than what you deserve anymore!!!! YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU KNOW! emoticon emoticon This situation makes me furious!!!! emoticon emoticon
    3528 days ago
    Can't you complain to the agency about her?
    3528 days ago
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