Dreary Grey House Day

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

When my husband and I were house shopping, he pointed out a "New England Cape" that was the classic grey wood sides with the dark red trim on the windows and the black roofing. I looked at him and immediately slouched as low in the car as good while with the most lifeless look I could muster and voiced in near death "it's so depressing, it's all grey."

Long story short, our dream house is a bright yellow one. Actually, it's the only bright yellow one on our road. I mean YELLOW. And I LOVE IT.

And since that day so long ago when our house searching began, I have always referred to days like today as "Grey House Days". It's cold, it's raining, it's grey.

The last few weeks I've been struggling. With my eating habits, with my exercise, with everything it seems. I don't have a "physically" stressful job, however "mentally" there are days that by the time I get home I feel all used up. Not to mention as those days begin to wear on you, it seems everything happens all at once. I start not sleeping well, which leads to upping the coffee, which leads to feeling more hungry, and slowly I remember how I got myself into this unhealthy mess in the first place.

The blessing in all this? My current job (unlike the last one) isn't like this year round. We have an extremely busy season, and the rest of the year is just busy. It seems this time of year I finally just reached my point where my balancing act of everything I was trying to accomplish family wise, career wise, self wise, and spiritually began to fall. And instead of dropping all the juggling balls I'm just dropping a few here or there, tossing some in odd ways so they don't completely drop while trying to bend down and pick up one that already did.

Imagine a professional juggler who has already messed up however is just too determined to give up. Eventually he'll get everything back in sync again.

That's me. Out of sync with the determination to keep trying knowing I'll get back in sync again.

Need more proof? It's not even 3PM yet and I only have 65 calories left today before I start hitting my "zone".

It's all good though. Summer will eventually pierce through this grey house day, like I will eventually pierce through this slump. Gotta start forcing myself to just start tracking everything I eat again for a few weeks. Nothing like getting you back in shape when you realize just what kind of unhealthy fuel you're stuffing your body with.

HERE I COME. Slowly... a little sluggishly... however... HERE I COME!!!

emoticon RaZella
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