Excuse me Ma'am you're awfully fat.

I had an eye opening and excruciatingly painful reality check today.

I was perusing some pics from a recent event I had attended when it hit me...
THAT'S MY BUTT?!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!

You should never be subjected to having to see yourself from behind, sitting down, with a tight shirt on at a very overweight state.



I've been on a sad and painful gaining journey. Today the reality of that smacked me in the face. When I realized it was me tears instantly began to fill my eyes.
Then I remembered the promises I had made myself at the beginning of this year and how it was going to be the best ever and all the goals that I had set. Then I began to break down. I realized that I hate myself. I hate who I am, who I've become, who I'm forcing myself to be by my food and exercises choices or lack there of. I'm ashamed of myself.

I felt sorry for myself so sorry I began to binge eat. Why because that's what I do. However, at this time. I am taking control. And even though I've said that a million times ( with previous blogs to prove it) this time I have to do it! I will look at this picture ever day if I have to to give myself the motivation to keep going.

I want to share this photo with you and I encourage you to look at your self from behind because it's a real reality check!



I think I might burn that shirt!