Hey everyone! Hope you are as excited for the weekend as I am. :)
Yesterday I really pushed myself hard at the gym. I always tend to workout hard, but yesterday was one of those "grunting on the treadmill, pouring sweat, wanting to quit so bad but now allowing myself to" type workouts. It was nice, well at least it felt great after. My legs and butt are killing me, since I started a new lifting routine this week, but it still feels nice. I have my 5K next weekend, so I need to be pushing myself on my runs for sure. It is so nice out today, that I really need to run outdoors, I just hate that it's either rainy or super warm by the time I get home each day. Who wants to run in humidity. I am thinking before long it will be time to try to get workouts in earlier. But who knows, I really am an evening workout gal, that way I can release my stress from the day.
I ate great yesterday. No odd cravings, while I did have late night munchie cravings again. I have to just accept that those will be around, and I will have to tell them no. I worked on journaling about them last night, as well as some other stuff I read on ohsheglows.com. Love that site, great recipes! She posted a challenge at one point to admit to yourself what expectations you have that are unrealistic, then replace those with realistic goals that are long term. It is easier to not beat yourself up if you view a messed up day as one bump in the road as opposed to something that will break your short term goal of losing 5 pounds by this date or that date. This is all stuff we've come into contact with through our journeys, but reinforcement is good.
I really want a sound mind. I am so close to my weight goal that I need to get my head straight. So I don't keep bouncing back and forth between doing really well and doing horribly. Something she wrote that really hit home with me is that we have these views of what a healthy person would do, and after we have a bad night or bad weekend we think we've failed at being a healthy person. Then we start to spiral. That is me exactly. Even though this entire year I have only missed my calorie burn goal one week, and it was because I had oral surgery, I still feel like I'm not athletic if I move a workout back. I feel like I'm putting on a front when I go to the grocery store and get all healthy food items after a weekend of partying. I cannot accept that I am a healthy person, that every healthy person has slip ups, and that I always will.
The writing has gotten me thinking a lot about what I want from myself. I want to eventually be entirely free of tracking. I used to never think that I would be, but that's what I want. I want to not track calories in or out, not track how often I workout, none of it. Because I want to just live the life where I know I am doing things correctly. I also want to get away from the scale and start basing my happiness upon how I FEEL in my clothes and in my skin. That's most important. I know these changes aren't going to take place overnight, but they are my long term goals.
I have several other expectations and goals that came to mind, but I need to digest them some more. Anyway, the weekend is upon us. Bruce has drill, so it shall be a productive one at that. Tonight I will hit up a run after work, and then will go home and knock out the rest of my house cleaning duties, and focus on homework. Doing research tonight. In the morning I will be getting up and hitting up spin class, the farmer's market, and the grocery. Gotta pick up some comics as well. :) I will most likely spend a couple hours during the day hiking with a lady friend, weather permitting. The rest of the day will be spent at home on homework or reading. I never watch TV when Bruce is gone, I just don't get into it. I read, and I craft. Sunday I will get up and get some type of workout in, and then work on my project the rest of the day...Yay. And most likely cook food for the week, unless I have stuff to hold me over until Tuesday evening. When I need time away from said project, I will work on jewelry or sewing or reading. Not get bored and decide to leave. I plan on being pretty hermit like. Eating well, and saving money are much easier that way.
I am excited for my anniversary trip to the winery next weekend, and the fact that I have been doing so well on my eating program. No sugar, no processed food, none so far this week. I can really see this becoming a normal lifestyle for me, except I will add in sugars sometimes as a treat. I just have to figure how to do that without triggering binge behaviors and sugar hangovers.
Happy Friday, have a great weekend!