The Funk Has Been Lifted!
Friday, April 29, 2011
I am not much of a blogger...I interact with Jodi's Walking Crew peeps on a daily basis so I pretty much get my vent on every day. Whether it's a good day or a bad The Crew is always there to support me and other members. Most of you know that I was in a 'funk' for several weeks....but you all don't know that I was severely depressed.
It started in early March and progressed faster then a wild fire across dry grassy land! So fast I don't even know what hit me. I have no idea what trigger it, I would like to think it was a from of SAD seasonal affective disorder but I am not positive. I was still walking/running every day but my eating habits went down the drain. I just didn't care nor did I have the energy to care. When I was home alone all day I did nothing but cry. Some days I went back to bed a cried there. I developed a lump in my throat due to the stress of whatever was stressing me so bad. I was anxious over nothing and I was beginning to drive myself crazy. I tried my best to stay positive but it was really hard. I stopped tracking my food and the scale went up 2 lbs and stayed there for 6 longs weeks....I had so many people telling me how good I looked and what a great job I have done, I thanked them with smiles on my face while on the inside I couldn't even enjoy the complement because I didn't feel as joyous as I should. I kept sitting down and evaluating what I was doing, why was I feeling so bad....and kept coming up with no answer.
I did reach out here and there, and was thankful for the advice, but the only person who could change the way I felt was me. I made a gut wrenching decision to start taking Prozac again to help me get out of this depressed state I was in. I toggled with this decision because I was so very proud of myself for 'walking off my depression meds' last year I almost felt like a failure going back on them. Well my pride is not that strong and I am not to afraid to say 'I need help'. So that's what I did and I am already starting to feel better!
I wanted to share this with all of you because this may benefit someone else and you all know I am all about sharing and helping others through the same journey I am going through.