Working on my Health
Monday, May 02, 2011
Today is exactly 30 days until I no longer work in my job which makes me smile. I want to start me new life on a positive note. No goal as far as weight is concerned, just overall health goals really. May is going to be an awesome month because I have a lot going on to look forward to. This weekend is my (4 year!!) Anniversary celebration on Sunday with my lover, we are going to stay in a nice little B&B and go on a wine trail. My sugar free self will be absent that day, obviously. I also will allow myself to drink liberally, as long as I stay in control of my actions (it has been a while since I've lost that). I didn't weigh myself today to set a goal for the end of May, I really am wanting to stay away from the numbers game for a while. I will admit that I checked my weight a couple times last week, nervousness over not tracking any of my food. I did great, though. I knew I could handle it, I just have to trust myself to do it longterm as well.
-10 minutes of exercise every day, per Bikini Challenge
-5 longer workouts per week (this has become my lifestyle, but I want to remind myself not to slack off when I get tired or stressed)
-Limit alcohol consumption to 2 drinks at a time (in a day, not double fisting, haha) BESIDES: Anniversary celebration (May 8th), and camping at Cooper's Landing on the 28th of May. That will make a total of twice, which is not too shabby (for me).
-Continue to eat clean all month long, it makes me feel better than eating any other way could. I don't see any issues other than I am supposed to go to a military course the week of the 23rd. It is hard to eat clean while away to training, but I believe I will have a refridgerator and if so I will be going to the grocery store and stocking up on my own stuff
-Eat 80% of my meals vegetarian. That means only 4 meat including meals per week. This should be pretty easy considering I make my meals ahead of time, except dinner a couple nights a week. I will try to eat primarily seafood when I do eat meat. If I eat beef, pork, or chicken I want to buy local as much as I can. I have been looking a lot into meat production, and it really bothers me.
-Don't track calories all month. This has been so freeing the past week. Not freeing in the sense of "oh man I can eat whatever I want" but I am starting to work through my obsession with the numbers which is lovely. I haven't binged once since I stopped counting calories, and I know that I ate really well last week. It helps planning all of my meals ahead of time. I have been sticking to portion control, and working through journaling to try to conquer my eating issues head on. I will be weighing myself weekly to make sure that I don't gain weight, it will help me to adjust either the amount I take in or the amount I put out if I start to slide. I am confident that I can handle this.
It is weird to think that at the beginning of last month I was lowering my goal weight because I was half a pound away from my original goal. Now I don't know what I want. I probably weigh a pound or so more than that, from the two weeks of binge fest I had after that. I think the only number I am going to work on changing right now, is the amount of weight I can lift. Bikini season is coming, and I have always thought that meant that I needed to be a certain weight. But I think that at this point in my health journey, focusing on training myself to be more efficient will give me the best results. I want muscle to show off, and I am getting there. I would love a flat stomach, but I am not going to get it by obsessing over it. I've shown myself that more and more over time. I am going to get it by working hard, and eating what is good for me. And eating when I am hungry. And looking at myself in a loving light.
I am starting to really look at goals in the long term, I am thankful for the journaling exercise last week that got my gears turning. I am not focusing on the upcoming music festivals and walking around in cotton skirts and swim suits. I am focusing on my future, my career in the health field, being a good role model for the people I work with. For my nieces and nephews and children if I have them. I want to feel good about myself, not because my weight is that *perfect* number, but because I love to workout hard, and eat good food, I go explore the outdoors and craft in my freetime instead of watching TV, I grow my own food when I can, and I have a relatively low impact on the environment around me. That's a me I can respect, that is the person I am becoming little by little each week. Sure, I will still drink wine and get a little crazy every once in a while, I will still cry for no reason and freak Bruce out sometimes, I will still eat fried chicken after drinking a few beers. But most of the time, I won't. And that feeling of moderation is what keeps me grounded, and makes me excited to keep pushing myself every day.