ERICAVZ

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Must... Not.... Give..... In.....

Thursday, May 26, 2011

I got some bad news at work today. Budget shortfalls and internal transferring of staff has left my unit short one position. As of next week I will be the only full-time attorney handling 4 counties worth of cases. This means an huge increase in my workload, which I don’t know how I’ll be able to handle. I’m going to have to start turning away more cases, which means more and more folks without legal help. Or I can try to help everyone and run myself straight into the ground with that crazy level of workload. Neither of these is an appealing option.

This level of stress and frustration I am feeling right now is overwhelming. It makes me realize how closely I tie food to comfort. My initial reaction to all of this is a desire to grab something sweet or something salty and just gorge
myself. I want to get a box of cheez-its and let myself devour the whole box this afternoon, or run to the store after work and pick up a few pints of Ben & Jerry’s and spend an evening binging and feeling sorry for myself. The good news? I haven’t done those things yet. It’s taking all of my willpower, but I’m not stuffing my face full of food. That is not the way to solve this. I’ll still feel stressed and overwhelmed tomorrow when I get up, and I’ll also have the guilt of a binge to deal with it. Plus my body will not be happy with me if I cram it full of fat and sugar when I’m just not used to that stuff anymore (at least not in large doses).

Honestly, I shouldn’t even been writing this blog right now. I’ve got work to do! But I needed to get these feelings down into words and out into the world, for my own sanity.

I’m not going to give in to this. I’m not, I’m not, I’m not. I’ll stick to my planned food for the rest of the day. I will not let this stress cause me to treat my body badly! I did a nice long run this morning, and I refuse to “undo” all that hard work! I am stronger than this!!

Resist…. resist….. resist…..
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ERICAVZ
    Thanks for all your supportive comments, guys! So far I've been doing okay. Haven't reached for any ice cream or crackers this evening.
    I talked to my boss a little bit and we're going to sit down next week to have a more in-depth discussion about how to cope with these staff losses and how we'e going to prioritize my work from here on out. He was very supportive and sympathetic, so I feel like he's going to try to ease the stress as much as possible. That's good. And I am really grateful to have my job and not worry about layoffs or anything. There is definetly stuff to be grateful for.
    I'd almost forgotten I had a haircut scheduled for this afternoon, and that gave me a nice break from the office and let me do something non-food related to treat myself nicely. I'm home now and just finished a good, healthy dinner (the one I had already planned for the day). No plans to eat anything else tonight. I'm done for the day!
    Your encouragement helps a lot. Thank you guys so much!!
    3616 days ago
  • JLSPIES
    I totally relate. When things get out of control at work it's hard not to run to the same old comfort. I teach high school, and I also work for the district as a curriculum/continuous improvement coach and the stress in my office builds quick. What I've been doing is instead of eating, I'll treat myself to something small that I enjoy that is not food related. So I'll get an Oprah magazine, or a new nail polish and give myself a manicure, or I'll listen to a CD I love really loudly in my car. Sometime I'll get myself a notebook and some new pens, because a new pen feels really good for a teacher! Also, it helps to de-stress when you know people have your back, and I'm sure tons of people here have yours! emoticon
    3616 days ago
  • CHOCOHOLIC2276
    Don't do it!!!!!!!!!!! You know your body- the binging will make you feel sick- try to do a few minutes worth of exercise, see if that relieves some stress or opt for small portion of what you crave- individual serving bag of cheez its or an individual serving of skinny cow ice cream? emoticon
    3616 days ago
  • JOSIEISHEALTHY
    I'm sorry about your stress. I stress eat as well, it's a very tough thing to deal with, but you can do it!!!! Keep fighting!
    3616 days ago
  • SMCBR0031
    You can do it!! Resist that temptation to give in! You are too strong for that! Keep calm, you will get through this, I know it!

    Spark on,

    Sarah
    3616 days ago
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