I am starting to see a pattern

I don't consider myself to be lazy, but at times I can lag motivation. I also don't consider myself a quitter but at times I can put off.

I am sure that we can all say that these things are true about ourselves. It took a comment from my finance to slap me back into reality. I admire his courage to be so honest with me. ( knowing that I could blow up in his face)

" You don't push yourself"

He said this to me as I sat there and complained that he was losing weight faster then me. ( yes he has already lost 5 lbs in two weeks and eats like a horse) I am not going to lie at first I was furious. I wanted to run my palm across his face. I mean couldn't he see that I am killing myself....measuring everything, logging everything, counting calories in and out! But instead of blowing up. I walked away ( smart girl)

and as I walked and looked at clothes at Target. It hit me. Like a bolt of lightening. I am comfortable. I don't try...( at least to push myself) I am giving the bare minimum of my determination. and I know why

Because once again I find myself putting others first. I get so wound up on whats going on around me that I forget to look at what is going on inside. I ignore the feelings and go on auto piolit. But I am done! Done with the self hate. Time to move on..... So today marks day one of june goals. I am going to cook all the dinners at home, I already have my grocery list and recipes picked out.

I also weighed in this morning... 208.8lbs I am upset but not shocked. I haven't been good to myself lately...Hence the nachos last night. I also took measurements. I am going to weigh in on the 30th and measure inches.

goals:
1. run a 5k in 45 minutes ( I timed my first run this weekend 1hr and 4 min)
2. start and complete 30 days of the shred!
3.Get to 200 or 199lbs
4. lose 2 inches ( don't care from where just want them gone)
5. Don't lose momentum ( so I am going to blog once a day)

so june here I come!