I give up, and I feel fine.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Yes, it's true. I'm giving up. Not on everything - certainly not on eating better, and not on working out...for the most part. I'm giving up on one specific thing - running.

Last night I had a bit of an epiphany. I have come to grips with the fact that I just hate running. Hate, hate, hate. I get no enjoyment out of it whatsoever. I don't get that rush of endorphins or the feeling of accomplishment afterward. I realized yesterday that I was actually trying to come up with excuses to skip going to the gym because I was supposed to run last night. I loathe it that much. I was willing to miss abs class - which I enjoy in a twisted, not really fun way - just so that I didn't have to run. How counter-productive is that? I finally said forget it. I'm not going to be held hostage to the treadmill or a running schedule when I'd rather be spinning, strength training, or doing pretty much anything else. Having to run made working out feel like a chore, and that's the worst possible way to look at exercise.

So I gave myself permission to quit, and it feels like a load has been taken off of my shoulders. I thought that quitting would make me feel weak, but it doesn't. I feel fine about it. I just acknowledged and admitted to myself that I don't enjoy running, and I'm going to do things that I do enjoy instead. There's no shame in that at all. I may actually still end up completing the Couch to 5K, but it'll be on my own time. A run here, a run there when I am looking to mix up my cardio. Maybe I'll still have that "I love running" moment some day. But I don't expect it to happen and if it doesn't, I'm fine with it.

My weekend was a disaster in terms of working out. After the literal disaster/bike ride on Friday I decided that I needed Saturday off. I was waaaay too tired and sunburned to work out. Then on Sunday, Dave woke me up at 5AM and said, "I think I need you to take me to the hospital." He was having abdominal pain so severe he was curled up in the fetal position and moaning. So we got to the ER and they gave him morphine (thank goodness) and a CT scan. As it turns out, he has stones in his gall bladder. Since it's not his first attack - he's been having pain on and off for the last month, but nothing like this - the gall bladder has to come out. So he's supposed to call a surgeon today (or yesterday, really, but he never did) to schedule the surgery. Fortunately it's outpatient and the recovery isn't supposed to be too bad, but he has had the worst luck with his health over the past year. It's starting to get ridiculous. So needless to say, I didn't get to the gym on Sunday either. When we finally got out of the ER, dropped off his prescription, got something to eat, picked up his prescription and got some groceries I was totally spent. I barely got off the couch.

Not sure what I'll be doing for my workout tonight. Some strength training for sure, but I need to come up with some cardio since tonight was supposed to be a running night. I'd like to go to Spin, but to be honest I'm not sure if my butt could handle it at this point. After Friday it feels totally bruised all the way down to the bone. It feels better today, but I'm not sure if I want to chance sitting on a bike seat yet. I'll probably end up on the stair mill, gah.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It is better to stop doing something you don't like that to stop doing everything because you don't want one little part.

    Kudos on the decision!
    3383 days ago
  • CORDIA72
    I'm not a runner either. It's just not my sport. I much prefer yoga or Zumba to running anyday.
    3391 days ago
    I am with you there, i tried running but never quite get it so I resorted to walking.
    Do what you enjoy and it will not feel like a chore to be finished. emoticon
    3391 days ago
  • CATS_MEOW_0911
    I'm glad you feel fine about it! Frankly, I would not be able to do running on the dreadmill on any consistent basis, but I used to enjoy running outside. After my knee injury, I realized I didn't love running all that much (the soreness, the joint pain, the GI issues...ugh). If people find it enjoyable...great. As you know, it's also fine not to love it and not to do it.

    Have you ever tried kickboxing? Similar calorie burn, recruits every muscle in the body, and a kick-ass (literally!) workout.

    I hope Dave gets some relief soon and gets that gallbladder out...yikes!
    3392 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/17/2011 12:53:36 PM
    You're right. Do something you enjoy and the chances are better that you will actually DO IT. I can't run, never could, even as a kid. But I walk. I walk a lot. I used to hate it because it hurt so badly everywhere: my hips, my knees, my back. But either I got stronger as I lost weight, or LESS weight has less impact on those spots, because now it doesn't hurt, and I kind of enjoy it. I even broke into a slow jog a time or two when I was trying to break a speed record for walking a certain distance, but I didn't like that much. Some of us are just NOT runners.
    3392 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/17/2011 12:28:02 PM
    Running isn't for everyone! Then again, I tried it multiple times in the past, and it never stuck. But I'll hit my "1 year running" anniversary at the end of October. Crazy. I started working out 15 months ago and specifically bought cross trainer shoes because I was NOT a runner. Three months later, I tried it, got hooked on running and entered some races, and the rest is history! Keep going with the lovely stairs and other cardio, and maybe giving it another try in 6 months or a year will work out better! You never know!
    3392 days ago
  • _UMAMI_
    I do like running, but in situations like this (family health crisis, for example), I like pacing.

    I paced 10K today. Don't ask. emoticon

    Hope all of you are healing up nicely and sleeping well.

    3393 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5469563
    I hear you. Running is NOT my favorite either. I do it once in a while to change up my workouts, but I'd rather be doing a cardio workout video. You just gotta find what works for you, because that's what will get results and keep you going. :)
    3393 days ago
    You're right! There's absolutely nothing wrong with "trying" something and deciding that it's not for you! Fitness shouldn't be torturous to your soul, even it it can sometimes feel like torture to your body. emoticon It's a lot better to find something that at least makes you feel great, after you've finished it. I hope you get on Dave about scheduling his surgery. We've had a few friends and family members have it done this last year. Luckily most went great, but 2 waited too long to go in, which made it more complicated, and ended up with extended hospital stays. emoticon Good luck, figuring out your new cardio schedule.
    3393 days ago
  • SYZYGY922
    Jeez, you've had a time of it.

    I hate running, too. I kind of want to say I ran a 5k or something, but every second I run is a second I want to be doing something else.

    I think I'll try to get to my goal of running a mile without stopping (I've never done that in my life, not once ever...well, maybe once when I was 12, but I didn't measure.)

    I think that what works best is doing what you like so you'll stick with it.
    3393 days ago
    Good for you! I desperately want to run again, and am walking now, but I don't ever remember loving it. I like that you gave yourself permission to stop doing something you loathe to make room in your schedule for something you love! emoticon
    3393 days ago
  • no profile photo TAURUSGIRL3
    I am not a runner either. I would love to say that I am and I am sometimes envious of the runners, but I am not a runner. It seems that you have a lot of things that you do like to do. Keep up the great work!
    3393 days ago
  • LPETRO119
    Good for you for acknowledging what's right for YOU!

    I hope D starts feeling better soon - it sucks to have your significant other laid up and not feeling well.
    3393 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6619970
    Oh, goodness, glad you stopped doing something that you hated! Wanna hear something funny? I never actually started! Everytime I thought about running, I just revolted in the opposite direction. Nuts huh? There are plenty of people out there who are fit, lose weight without walking.

    My WW meeting showed an interesting article that showed people who walked fast paced actually incorporated more muscle groups than runners, on a 90% vs. 75% scale. I thought that was interesting.

    Anyway, love that you are keeping up with your other workouts. I hope hubby gets his gallbladder taken care of soon and that you both will settle back into your routine.

    3393 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8292103
    I'm in the same boat. I used to love running, but I hate treadmills! And, it's just too hot for me in the afternoon and I don't trust my neighborhood at night. Maybe one day, when I move next year or something, I'll go back to running outside, but if not, oh well. I love my dancing and honestly, I work up more of a sweat, feel I worked more muscles and feel better after Zumba, or even just some dances I know that I go through over and over (they have hopping in them and I feel like dying every night I do them). Running isn't for everyone and it can be hard on our bodies. It kills my back to run. So, I haven't been.
    3393 days ago
  • JSPIN74
    Oh my...i'm tired just reading about ur week. So eventful already...take it easy there & pace yourself ;)

    Sorry bf is in such agony...hope his recovery will be quick!

    & great for you! (on being the "good kind" of quitter)

    3393 days ago
    I'm really not a runner either!! I sort of like it, but I would much rather do the elliptical for my cardio. If I do run, it is at home. I hate running at the gym alongside all those people who make it look so easy. Everyone is different, and the way to have success is to find what works for you!! Keep up the good work and best wishes to Dave. I work in a hospital and people generally have quick recoveries from those surgeries. emoticon
    3393 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10482202
    You have to do what's right for you. It has to be something you can do forever and if you don't enjoy something, you won't stick with it. So way to go on making a smart choice for yourself! emoticon
    3394 days ago
    There's nothing that is for everyone. I definitely think its the right move to do what you enjoy!! As long as you're moving, you got this!!! :)

    I got my gall bladder out. Wasn't bad at all. Just alot more trips to the bathroom now!! HAHA!
    3394 days ago
    I don't run. I like to Bike. A lot of cities are putting in bike lanes and trails. So happy trails. emoticon

    emoticon emoticon
    3394 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8967340
    Good for you!! I'm still doing run/walk intervals, but I've left C25K far behind me. And you are right, when I finally decided to just listen to my body instead of killing myself trying to stick to the plan, it was like a huge weight was lifted. There was no more dreaded feeling of not being able to move to the next week. It feels so much better doing it on my own time, based on how my body is feeling. Meanwhile, I'm doing other workouts as well. Definitely stick to what you love doing!

    I'm sorry to hear about Dave. I hope his surgery goes well and he's feeling better soon!
    3394 days ago
  • AREDDING1976
    Good for you! Nobody said running is a must in your workout routine. sounds like you have plenty of other cardio enjoyments that would easily substitute the dreaded running. It's awesome you were able to stay positive about your decision! Keep it up, girl! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3394 days ago
    Honestly, good for you! There is no reason to dread and loathe your workouts! Running is great, sure and it seems like stinking EVERYBODY does it. (If you can't tell, I'm battling with it,too.) But if you hate it, skip it. You've obviously managed to find other workouts that you enjoy much more!
    3394 days ago
    I'm not a runner either! I keep trying to do the C25K with hopes of running (no walking) a 5K, but then I get caught up in the interval training portion of running/walking to burn more fat and can't seem to get past a mile or so. No shame in not loving running! You should stick to stuff you enjoy and can do for the long haul!
    3394 days ago
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