KITT52
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The excitement is gone

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Today I read a friends blog, it was about changing our lives and what we have become....
I posted that this was my story, I was a 347 pound women who was scared I would have a heart attack, scared if I had to run to save my life or the life of someone else I could not do it....I was scared if I got in a car wreck that they would not get me out, I was scared if I had car trouble I could not walk to get help or call for help....needless to say as a 347 pound women I lived in constant fear....even feared going to new places , would I be to big for the seats, could I get in the toilet stall..as you see I could go on and on.....
I have felt a bit down, as it's over 5 yeasr with sparkpeople and my weight loss, my life has changed in so many ways...in the beginning I was so excited, so many compliments.....people were so excited for me.....then some of the excitement wore off, people stopped asking how I lost so much weight, friends started to avoid me, but I found new friends.....most friends I have now did not know me at 347 pounds, they tease me about my eating habit and my exercise plan.....good natured teasing...
they don't know the struggle each day to watch my food intake, to get up early and get my exercise in..they can't feel the dissapointment when I gain a few pounds and I wonder what went wrong....
no longer are people excited for me, they don't ask how much weight I have lost, family no longer calls to see how I am doing in the weight loss department... I suppose this is a good thing, they can see I am staying at a healthy weight and appear to be happy.....
but I must admit I miss the excitement, I miss the high I got when I weighed in and saw yet more pounds gone......when people would make a fuss about how great I looked or what a fantastic job I did....people saying I am the biggest loser....but with time goes the excitement so now I face each day with a small excitement when I weigh in and say ya you're still at goal, when I can slip in to my size 10 jeans, when I walk a 5k each day....it might not bring tears to my eyes any more but I won't go back....I won't give up and I won't stop trying to do just a bit better each day....

You all have a healthy day........



never stop finding your own excitement


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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MIZCATHI
    Well, it's exciting for me to visualize myself where you are now. Life is a struggle, and it was worse when I weighed 310 lbs, as I am sure it was for you at 347. When you think of the excitement you once had losing, compare the letdown of emotional excitement now to the fear of yesteryear. I know you do.
    3009 days ago
  • SOCKITTOME
    Okay, so it's time to make your own excitement, Kitt. You walk, and you've been swimming, and you've been riding a bike. Set a goal to do a triathlon or a duathlon next year. Crossing the finish line at the end of an event will bring tears of joy to your eyes, trust me! Find other things to generate excitement -- don't stay focused on just weight. Life is so much bigger!
    3010 days ago
  • SAISHA100CJ
    You have done such a fabulous job!! More than fabulous!!! The excitement will return in many other ways. You are such an inspiration for others, and that wonderful feeling will never go away! Have a great day, Kitt! emoticon
    3010 days ago
  • -POOKIE-
    This is something I am feeling too, now Im in a new plce, I thought it would be good to have nobody know how much I had weighed, I do miss though that exciting moment when I could say I lost over half of me.

    But you are right, I have a whole new life because I worked for it. Thats exciting.
    3010 days ago
  • WARMSPRINGDAY
    What an honest blog! This has touched my heart in a very deep place. And what an inspiration you are to me!
    3010 days ago
  • BARBARAROSE54
    You still inspire me Kitt, you are emoticon
    3011 days ago
  • TRAILWALKERJO54
    it must be hard to find excitement in something you have been doing for 5 years... like brushing your teeth --boring lol..well maybe you could find some new people that need your guidance here -just starting out with weight to remove.. this will get your adrenaline pumping again..

    hope you had a great day too
    3011 days ago
  • SHERRYJVP
    I just loved this. I have lost the excitement too and it scares me a little...well.. alot. not seeing new numbers (in the right direction) is not exciting or fun. people not noticing is not fun. I am looking for new goals but I don't know what they will be.

    You are so awesome and the fact that you stay on here and help inspire us is so wonderful.

    Thanks and thanks again.
    3011 days ago
  • KATHYJO56
    Kitt, Your story tells it exactly like it is. I had the same exact fears when I weighed 350 pounds. I am still going through the excitement, but I know that one day it will be gone. That is okay with me; I hope that people will forget that I weighed 350 at one time. Like you, it will always be a struggle to eat exactly the right thing and get in the exercise, but I will do it because I will never forget how it was. emoticon
    3011 days ago
  • DEE797
    Kitt, you are an inspiration to me. You have come so far and are maintaining your loss. I loved your blog for it's honest insight into what happens after you lose the weight. I've always struggled with maintaining and end up gaining it all back, which is where I am now.


    3011 days ago
  • KJOHNSON011
    Love this blog!
    3011 days ago
  • MY1FAN
    You're emoticon
    3011 days ago
  • LAINIESNEWLIFE
    Kitt, you are my inspiration and you always will be. I am always telling friends and family about my Spark friends who have lost a tremendous amount of weight. When I think I can't continue with this journey, I think of you and Cathy and all that you both have accomplished. That pushes me forward. Thank you for being here for all of us and sharing your journey!!!! Have a great day!

    Hugs,

    Lainie
    3011 days ago
  • BUTTERFLYEMERGE
    I know what you mean, Kitt. It's been 8 years since I weighed 300 pounds. I can identify exactly with what you've written. I'm so glad you wrote it all down ... helped me see where I am. And I make the choice again today to live a healthy life. emoticon
    3011 days ago
  • BENTONHEALTHY
    Kitt,
    I found this very interesting because maintenance has always been my challenge. I know how to lose the weight but then it is that daily battle to maintain that I fall down on. If you are doing that you have more to be proud of and reward yourself for. I actually don't like people I know commenting on my my weight loss because it seems like pressure and then when I gain it back, it is a double whammy disappointment for me. To show you how often I have lost and gained over my life, my brother always asks, "Are you going to keep it off this time." It slays me as if I had said yes each time, it is even more humiliating. I think a reward system for you is a great idea because you may be a hero for losing it, but to me you are bigger hero for maintaining it. To me that is the biggest accomplishment. emoticon
    3011 days ago
  • DBBDANFORD
    I can imagine how you are feeling and I think it's completely understandable. As a Yo-Yo dieter I've experienced the highs and lows of this constant battle. But I want you to know how much your story inspires me and I am certain, a lot of other people! You are the light at the end of the tunnel for those of us starting out.

    I would offer a suggestion to set up a reward system for yourself now. Weekly, monthly...whatever it takes to put some excitement back into your program. Maybe it's a spa treatment if the scale shows no weight gain this month. Maybe it's the gift of "time for yourself", Zumba classes are all the rage!
    It's time to reward yourself for maintenance.

    And keep holding your light up so others can find their way through you!

    Thank you for adding me to your friends list! emoticon
    3011 days ago
  • HOWLERMOM
    So so true!! Thanks for this blog -- I am feeling a bit blah lately too - just back from a bit of a vacation - this is just what I needed! emoticon
    3011 days ago
  • NANAKONATA
    Just keep finding excitement in the little things in life, now that you are AT GOAL, find new ways that excite you, for me, even though I am far from my goal yet, I find excitement in the fact that I am getting over my fears more and more every day! Just keep that head up, you know you have always and will continue to inspire me! emoticon
    3011 days ago
  • ERIECANALGAL
    So true, so true!
    I didn't have as much to lose as you did but it WAS so exciting at first! And then it was back to normal again. Oh well, that's life I guess!
    emoticon
    Dottee
    3011 days ago
  • CRYSTLE4HIMTX10
    Loved your blog today. emoticon I think it speaks volumes to what others are feeling on one level or another.
    3011 days ago
  • KENTUCKYWOMAN
    Your blog spoke to me cause I have felt the same way. I'm at goal so what do I do now. I continue to look for the excitement. Congrats on your great weight loss.

    Joan
    3011 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

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