ESTHERELP

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The History of The Start

Thursday, August 18, 2011

So i'm watching the Show Ruby, and she has a group called the "Fat Women's Group" and she posed some really interesting questions. I originally posted this to my Emotional Eaters team but i'd like to hear more stories, they're so inspiring!!

1. When were you aware that you were overweight?
2. Why did you start eating emotionally?

For me, it was in middle school i think i was about 13. There was a guy i really liked and i wrote him a letter telling him that i liked him and wanted to be his girlfriend. So my answer was through another friend and she said "He likes you and thinks you're really pretty but you're fat so he can't go out with you". Yeah, devastating huh? After that i saw myself as different from everyone else, not worthy of anyone, never thinking i was good enough for any guy. We were also very poor and could not afford the healthy food so cooking with lard, eating potatoes, eggs, tortillas, giant blocks of munster cheese, rice, etc... this is attributed to it.

It wasn't until about 3 years ago that i realized i ate emotionally... I was doing this diet eating nothing but veggies for 2 weeks and i had this really awful day at work and i KNEW we had some cheesecake and i remember thinking... "Man if I'll bet that cheesecake would make me feel better" but i couldn't eat any, then it HIT me... OMG i thought eating cheesecake would make my day better, CHEESECAKE! I'm more aware of it now but every once in a while. if i'm feeling bad I think "that slice of pizza will make me feel better, i just KNOW it!" but i know better now and i don't give in.

I guess what's really got me thinking is Why do i still remember instances like that? People calling me fat or being turned down because of it? I mean i still remember how much it hurt... Does that mean i haven't let it go? Hmmm.... Anyway, i can't wait to hear more stories... Thank you Spark friends!!

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