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Medifast Day 82-92

Friday, August 19, 2011

There have been many good things that have happened this year but it seems as though the good is outweighed by the bad. We have suffered 3 great losses this year. My Great Uncle Mike lost his battle with illness & organ failure. Josh lost his battle with depression & chose to take his life to get away from a woman that was belittling him, threatening him & refusing to get him help. Now we have lost my Great Uncle Robby.
Tuesday morning was just like any other morning. I was of course running a little late and my phone rings. It's my Aunt Margie who I assumed was calling to console me because I had found Chicken dead the afternoon before. I ignored it decided to finish getting ready and call her back. About two minutes after my aunt calls, my phone rings again and it's my mom. I knew something was wrong so I answered. She told me that I needed to go to my grandparents house and she would explain when I got there. Thinking something had happened to one of them, I forced her to tell me what was going on. She told me my uncle had shot himself earlier that morning. When she told me I was in the kitchen, I immediately started crying and I fell to the floor. Shawn woke up after he heard me and came to console me. I couldn't believe it. Not Uncle Robby. I feared for Papa, Uncle Robby was his baby brother and they spoke at least every Sunday, if not more. Shawn got me to calm down and I went to pick my Uncle Sam up and we went to my grandparents house. Almost all of my family that lives in the valley was there and we decided how we were going to get to my Aunt Marsha in Plainview, TX. We all decided to drive. I went with my cousins and we left that night, drove straight through and got to Plainview around 8 the next morning. We were exhausted but I decided that I couldn't sleep, I didn't want to mess up my sleep schedule.
While in Plainview, I got to see family I hadn't seen in 15 years. Even though our reunion was under horrible circumstances, we enjoyed each others company. We got through the difficult times through telling stories and laughing. I don't think I've ever cried or laughed so much. I barely got any sleep, going to bed on Arizona time (it was 11 in Arizona but 1 in Texas) and waking up on Texas time.
At the funeral, it was simply amazing how many people were there. A lot of it was family, we have a very large family and my Aunt Marsha did as well. But all the people who were there knew my Uncle Robby well and to know him was to love him. He was a truly great man. The church was very large but not large enough, people were standing in the foyer and along the aisles. When it came time for sharing memories and my Aunt Margie of course started a trend saying that she was Uncle Robby's favorite niece. After that, everyone who spoke would say they were his favorite. The one that really filled my heart with joy was when my cousin Bobby stood up and shared his favorite memory. The Birdsong men are notorious for following diet fads but of course never sticking to them. Bob remembered our Uncle Robby on his exercise bike, pedaling away while eating a bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Birdsong philosophy is if I stay on this bike 5 more minutes, I can finish the bag. Everyone was laughing and crying. When my papa got up to share, he was crying. It was the first time I've ever seen my papa cry and it broke my heart.
I can't even imagine how my Aunt Marsha must feel. She lost her soul mate. They were meant for each other and they loved each other so much it was unreal. Anything my Aunt Marsha wanted, he would get it for her, you could look at them and feel their love for each other. The reason I know true love is real is because of my Uncle Robby & Aunt Marsha and my Nana & Papa. My heart aches for my aunt, she is such an amazing woman and this loss to her is devastating. I'm so thankful for the family she has there to take care of her. My Aunt Marsha is so much a part of this family and I love that about my family. We have divorced family members who's exes still come to reunions and funerals. Once you're in this family, you're pretty much stuck. My papa and my Uncle Robby are the most amazing men and every woman in our family has been on quest to find a man like them. Some have been successful, others have tried and failed but keep searching but the truth is, the men that are like my papa and Uncle Robby are so few and far between. They are men that would do anything for their wife or their family or even friends no matter what. They were often screwed over because their trust in people and loyalty to people never faltered. It simply amazes me how many times these two great men were taken advantage of and they never lost their faith in humanity. It's a great example to go by.
The last time I saw my Uncle Robby was a few years ago for my cousins wedding in Vegas. I can still see him all dressed up and smiling that amazing smile. I wish I would have known and I would have burned that memory into my brain. This is the times I really hate my horrible memory. The last time I talked to him was on the phone at my grandparents house. I answered and he talked to me, asking how I was doing, asking how everything was going, how was work. It was as though he was calling to talk to me. It amazed me how he did that. Most people just want to talk to the person they're calling for but not my Uncle Robby. He wanted to make sure you knew that you are just as important as the person he was calling for. His voice so distinctive, I'll never hear that sweet voice again.
Before I get into my diet aspect of the trip, I must share something I've known since I was 2 thanks to my wonderful grandfather. Always tell the people you love that you love them. It doesn't matter if you're leaving for work, ending a phone conversation, going to pick up something from the store or simply going to take out the trash. You tell them you love them because you NEVER know what might happen.

I thought this trip would have been hard dieting but thankfully I got an "Eating out Guide" (sick mind!) and I did wonderful. I've even lost 4 pounds since then. (I now just have to lose 4 more pounds and I'm out of the 200's!!!) I will say the only time I did cheat was Wednesday night when we got in, I decided I was going to have a shot, then the shot turned into a shot and a beer then the beer turned into 4. I'm so glad I stopped at 4 because I woke up the next day with the worst hangover in my LIFE! I regret it but I still had fun.
I was so proud of myself though, I felt there were people trying to sabotage me but I refused. And the Texas cooking looked and smelled so delicious but I didn't falter. I was made fun of when I ordered two dill pickle spears, I was mocked for smelling peoples food but I made it through with only one night of mistakes. The teasing and the taunting was all in good fun, it's my family's way of showing we love each other.
Well, I guess I had more than one mistake. I didn't do a food journal at all! I hate that. I need to get back into but I figure I'll just wait until I start a new week. The thing I hate the most is that I can't for the life of me, remember which day I had what, we were where and what time. I'm going to try to piece it together tomorrow morning before my appointment but we'll see. I think since I lost weight, they won't mind too much.
Alright, so I'm back and I'm blogging again and I'm going to get back on track because this is about the time I quit last time. I can't do that this time or I'll never forgive myself. The next couple of month are going to be a bumpy ride.
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