Even my feet are getting fat!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

OK-so I started off strong but it faded fast. Then I beat myself up for failing again by overfeeding and indulging. Was depressed to return to a work environment that I dreaded and ate more. An injury stopped me from training for the Chicago Marathon. I wanted that so badly. I wanted to accomplish that because I didnt believe I could-no one did. And now I wont be able to. So, I ate more. After continuing to reinjure my foot, I had to admit to myself and my husband that I would not be running for awhile. And as suspected, I would not run the marathon.
Not this year anyway. But I will cross that finish line one day. But first, I need to cross a different finish line. I have gained 11 pounds since my original 5 pound loss. I swear my feet are even getting fatter! What am I doing to myself? I havent taken a family picture in years and my mother in law thinks its funny to try to get a picture of me. Interesting enough, she always seems to catch me on film near the food at the family parties. Today, I got some startling blood results indicating that my body is not happy with me and the choices I have made and it is fighting back! I am prediabetic, my heart is struggling and at risk for lung disease and other issues.
So, its time to run a different marathon. A "life changing" marathon. I need to do this. I want to do this. Maybe I wont get a medal, but I know I will get so much more! My family deserves for me to do this.
I am not going to lie. There are vein reasons--but they motivate me so I am ok with it. I want to be pretty! Is that wrong? I want to dress up and take a picture with my kids and husband that I will be proud to hang in my home. I dont want to run from my mother in law everytime she comes around with her camera.
And I want my feet to stop getting fat!! Seriously, the one part of my body that I thought would always be thin! Not anymore!
Feeling re-motivated, and re-energized---its time to start a new training. Hopefully this will lead to me crossing that finish line in Chicago next October. But for now, I am ok with the realization that you trully do need to learn to crawl before you can walk.
I have a lot of changes ahead. I am also a smoker and planning to quit that VERY soon! I need to find a way to work out that I enjoy and will replace my running. I have some walking dvds but havent stuck to them. Will get back to that tomorrow!! I know all of this is going to be hard, but I have amazing support from my sister in law (one of the most amazing people I know!!) and my family.
I can do this. I can do this. I WILL do this! But I cant do it alone and that is why I am so happy to be here. Thank you everyone for reading this and for your support. I cant wait until I will have my much needed success and can help someone who is feeling the way I do today!
Here's to another new start!
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  • KATIEM929
    Well, welcome back!!! Start slow and remember, it's a marathon, not a sprint. emoticon It's not obstacles and set backs that determine whether or not you "failed", it's whether or not you try again. As long as you get back up and try again, you can never fail. Try to make small, attainable goals that enforce and/or instill your confidence in yourself. And be kind to yourself, lady. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to any friend who's struggling with something. You really can make a difference in your health and happiness.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3410 days ago
    3411 days ago
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