HONEYBEEGRL77

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Scared

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Six months ago I came out of hiding only to go back to hiding.

I had a good run with the 6 week challenge. I spent most of the summer in the low 150s- even getting back to 150. I was doing well and then life happened: with-in one week's time my mother had a major surgery to remove a cancerous tumor, my uncle had a heart attack and open-heart surgery, then my best friend's father died suddenly. In the middle of it all I developed a cough that still hasn't gone away...

I've had this cough since August 22nd. Antibiotics and steroids haven't helped. I'm exhausted. I've been having trouble sleeping. I can't exercise because I can't breathe. I had a chest x-ray Friday. I'm hoping they'll figure out what is wrong with me.

Also, since late August I've been eating and drinking sugar. Comfort foods and drinks: soy lattes, iced and hot teas with sugar, apple cider, cliff bars, and oatmeal with brown sugar. And then there are the cough drops! It doesn't sound awful on paper, but the calories add up. I've gained nearly 20 pounds. I was 150 mid-August. Today I'm 168.8. Yikes!

I'm scared. I can't seem to snap out of this funk. I hate the way I look. I've never been this big. I had to go to the store and spend several hundred dollars on new clothes so I had something to wear to work.

I keep telling myself that I'm going to get back on ETL and back to the gym once I'm better. I'm not getting better. I think the key is to start eating right to heal my body. The gym is out of the question for now, but I can control what I put in my mouth.

The problem is the cough drops. The coughing is uncontrolable without them, but they contain sugar. :-( I guess I just need to limit my other sugar intake.

I took some "before" photos today. I’ve been trying repeatedly to post them, but Spark won’t let me. Hopefully, I’ll be able to get them up soon. Still, I NEVER want to look like I do today again! It’s time to get the scale moving DOWN!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PATTK1220
    You've had a rough time of it! I hope the chest xray helps your doctor find a way to make you feel better. You need to give your body the right fuel to heal and feel better, but you know that already. Hang in there!

    emoticon
    3364 days ago
  • SUPER_ME
    That certainly is a lot you've been dealing with. I'm sorry that you and your family and friend had to experience all that. It's understandable to get knocked off track a little when stuff like that is going on.

    I think you are right. If you start eating better again, it will definitely help you feel better. As far as the cough drops go, don't feel bad having a few if they help. Just cut out any other sugar you can. Last time I was sick, someone suggested to me to melt a cough drop in my hot tea. It helped me a little, and it tasted pretty good too.

    I hope you feel better very soon! emoticon
    3367 days ago
  • DS9KIE
    wow thats alot of life that happened and I hope your mom and uncle are doing well. and I hope your cough goes away...hey maybe you could try some sugar free cough drops, maybe they might be less sugar.

    If its one thing I have learned on this healthy living jorney is that I do really great to really bad. I will eat only eat fruit and veggies and loss weight and then...bam...I'm eating something bad and more bad and then the weight is coming back...good greif

    The other thing I have learned is that you can't give up. if at anytime when I'm messing up that I would have giving up I would not fit through the doorways.

    So you just have to pick your self up, dust yourself off and keep trying and we are all here to help you dust yourself off.

    Well some things I have learned is that no matter what I exercise for 40 minutes (I will do 5 to 20 minutes at a time throughout the day until 40 minutes are done and I have done it at midnight several times trying to get it done)

    When I'm eating unhealthyfoods I also eat healthy foods, like when I eat pizza I will also eat a big salad.

    Ok so this doesn't always work out but life always happened and I'm just trying to work with it.

    And you just have to start somewere so cut out the caffine drink or wait its a good idea but I have a better idea eat a big salad, have fun making and drinking a smoothie, ect (ok sometime I think of new this right when I typing so sorry if I sound funny oh and hey you need a laugh anyway)

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3367 days ago
  • LIV2RIDE
    Aw Sweetie! I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. I think you got it right though. You need to start eating right now to heal your body. Control what you can and the rest will follow! emoticon
    3367 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

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