"You say, 'If I had a little more, I should be very satisfied.' You make a mistake. If you are not content with what you have, you would not be satisfied if it were doubled." --Charles Haddon Spurgeon
Short 'n' sweet - it might not be a holiday in the UK, but it's a holiday in the Coff household, all the same.
A few 'Thanksgiving Horror Stories,' courtesy of Yahoo's features section:
"I have double ovens, one for the turkey and one for the side dishes (that I had prepared days before) that needed reheating. I pride myself on my organizational skills! I forgot to turn on the big oven for the turkey..."
"I was invited home with my college roommate for Thanksgiving dinner. Her very proper mom made a fabulous meal topped off with pumpkin pie. She heaped whipped cream on each slice and waited for comments. Finally her husband mentioned that it tasted 'off'. She broke down and confessed she had forgotten the sugar but had hoped the whipped cream would save it. It didn't."
"Many years ago I prepared a dinner for 10. Then we got an unexpected 3-foot snowstorm. None of the family could get to us. But I served the dinner to my husband at the dinner table with centerpiece, turkey etc. He looks so funny in pictures, sitting at the table with all that food! Family showed a couple of days later for hot turkey sandwiches and leftovers."
"My sister and I were preparing dinner for our families at her house. The day before Thanksgiving my sister had a large band-aid on her finger. We had a huge turkey to stuff and it took both of us to accomplish it. When it was all done and tied up and in the roaster ready to go in the oven my sister looked down and said, 'Oh my god... my band-aid is gone.' Well, we were both horrified and then we got the giggles about someone finding it in their stuffing. Should me make it a prize like the baby in a king cake? We just couldn't risk it so we totally undressed the bird and combed through every piece of stuffing. We found nothing! So we stuffed it back up and when we lifted the roaster to put it in the oven, there it was! Stuck to the BOTTOM of the roaster the ENTIRE time!"
No, none of these happened to me personally. Thank goodness. But I think there's been at least one, ah, 'incident' each Thanksgiving of my life. Not always my doing, you understand. There was the year my mother had no pie crusts, no flour, nothing to sub... zilch. Yes, you CAN make a 'crustless pumpkin pie.' And that was around 1965.
Then there was the time my first mother-in-law had every potato in the pan to make mashed potatoes, began to sprinkle them with salt, and the top came off the shaker - the large kitchen-stove, industrial-size salt shaker. Probably half-a-pound of salt in there, and while there were a lot of potatoes (there were two dozen people at her house for dinner that year) they were pretty much inedible.
Me? Oh, yah, I've had my share. I've done the 'Gee, funny there were no giblets with the turkey - uh oh, I think I found 'em' right about the time I was taking out the stuffing so somebody could carve.
There was the year we had dinner late. Like - REALLY late. Like, the day after Thanksgiving. I'd forgotten to thaw the turkey. No microwave would've been big enough. We tried cutting it up, because I figured I might be able to nuke the pieces. Hah. It was like trying to saw a rock. We had chicken with turkey-dinner-trimmings and the somewhat-mangled turkey the next day.
Even this year: as I've said, we had Thanksgiving a week early so family could be here. (The complications of holding a holiday in a country where it's not a holiday, y'see.) I did everything myself. Boned-and-rolled turkey breast... Pennsylvania Dutch potato-sausage stuffing... coleslaw... sweet potato casserole... cranberry relish... green beans with almonds... pumpkin pie... apple cake... ginger quickbread... I mean, I pulled out all the stops.
Too bad I left the succotash on the stove. Yes, I'd turned the stove off, but - it would've been nice if they'd had that American traditional go-with. Made good soup the next day, though. And as these things go, it was a minor glitch. They didn't know it was missing, lol...
Last but not least, an essay I came across. She invited us to share it, so here's the link: