Saturday, January 28, 2012
Wow, as January 2012 draws to an end-I must say I'm disappointed...Really disappointed. According to my plan, I should've reached my goal by now and be down 40lbs with only maybe 10-15 lbs more to go. However, that's not my reality. Instead I'm sitting here starting over...AGAIN! If someone would have told me back in August 2011 that August would have been a "false start" I'm not sure I would have believed them. But I wish someone would've said just that.
So i'm saying it now. To myself & to whom ever may happen to read this. There will be many false starts & many start overs. That sucks. I started strong in August, went Hard in September, only to be injured in October & have to restart in November. I hit it Hard again in December reached an "all time best" of a 13 minute mile, only to be deflated, literally at December's end with pneumonia.
A pneumonia that won't let me loose. I keep having set backs. I finally this week was able to walk...a disappointing 20 minute mile, with side hurting, legs itching, and panting-but hey the fact that I got back out there "should be" what really matters right? I managed to do 2 sets of 12 squats a few days later only to find that even today (3 days after the squats & like 5 days after the 20 minute mile) I can barely walk & my breathing is labored at best.
So here I sit, wondering now what? Not really knowing if I have another "start" or "restart" in me. Reading thru the spark motivational pages looking for someone like me, hoping to find inspiration. Saddened by the reality because I know, deep down that today-this starting over won't be the last. Because I can't control the weather. I can't control injury or illness.
So once again, i'm starting over.....