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My Transformation - A Journey of Acceptance

Monday, January 30, 2012

As part of the 80's challenge, I need to do a blog entry about my transformation in health/fitness/wellness, so I think that means a blog enrty in here...

So, my weight journey has been life long...and even now as I look back onto photos of myself even as I child, I had always believed that I was/am 'fat'. Sad thing is, that I wasn't. I was a tall child, taller than most kids my age. There has never been anything petite about me or my size. I was a size 9 in grade 8. Compared to some of the other girls in my classes, I felt I was an ogre.

Dating smaller framed men in my university days only added to my insecurites. I'd look at picture of myself next to men, who thought I was perfect the way I was, and I would find fault with myself before they could. My esteem was obviously not where is should have been---not just in terms of how I viewed myself, but as to what I'd tolerate---from crappy boyfriends, to unhealthy friendships. I thought I didn't deserve good things.

Years later, looking back at pictures, I see I was my own worst critic. Meeting my DH also changed how I view myself---in a great way! Not only is he the first guys who is taller than me, but next to him I see that I am not a giant. He makes me feel 'little'. He love me, my curves and thinks I'msexy--even as a size 16 since the birth of our son this past summer. I've lost 10lbs since jan 1, and he told me just last night that he can see a difference.

Although I still have 10+lbs to go until I am back to my pre-baby weight, I feel fabulous. I had a rough pregnancy---gaining 60lbs---30lbs of it being swelling and vanishing 10 days after the delivery.

My transition is a work in progress, but when I look at pictures from even a few years ago, I know that I've been there before and I'll be there again--hopefully soon! And even when I get pregnant with baby number 2, this time I will keep working out this time!!!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    We rarely see ourselves as others do. Be as kind to yourself as you would to a friend.

    We are all a "work in progress."
    3432 days ago
    I love this blog -- you and your husband and baby are BEAUTIFUL!! Truly - all 3 of you!! I think you're doing a fantastic job and am so glad you shared. I'm also tall, 5'11", and had the exact same thoughts about myself as I was growing up. When I look at pictures from those years, I'm always shocked to see that I was NOT 'huge' at all...only in my mind. emoticon

    A big part of this journey is healing how we think of ourselves, and I applaud the progress you're making! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3433 days ago
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