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Finding the right balance

Friday, February 17, 2012

A year ago I was featured in a magazine, thanks to the staff at Sparkpeople. Today, I am not in the same shape. I stopped tracking my food and cut down on some work outs. The result is a weight swing from 127lbs to 155lbs. I am certainly back down to a healthier me, but nowhere near the fitness level I was 9 months ago. I had said that 135 would be my "cap", then 140, 145... feel me? But for me, it's more than the number on the scale that matters. My self-esteem is deflating as fast as my endurance.

I know I need to add more running, but I have a hard time taking that first step out the door. So, I have been showing up to my workout class 20 minutes early to get in an extra run or bag work.

I have also started taking a boxing class one night a week (while it's not kids' sports seasons.) I love it and really don't want to give it up come cheer season, but my daughter has practice nightly, so that already makes me sad.

Eating, I have been making better choices, but not the regular..healthy ones I used to. This is where I am struggling the most. I know what works for me, I maintained an 85 pound loss for quite some time, but the minute I stopped logging in here.... I lost my balance.

This is hard, for everyone. The struggle for some of us isn't over at goal. It's a lifetime of getting back up, dusting back off and choosing to want to be healthy. I don't need to be a supermodel, or even wear a bikini ever again. I just want to feel good, live life well and pass on life enhancing tools to my children.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hello, I can relate to your loss of self esteem when you did not log on to sparkpeople and lost your fitness level. I have lost mine for the last decade. Never before have I let myself go to rack and ruin as I have in the last 12 years!! I belive that I shall be on Sparkpeople for the long haul, because being truthfull on the calorie count about what I eat, can be a shock to me as to how they add up to TOO MUCH FOOD. You are an inspiration to me, so you keep it up, you are doing great. We all forget at times because of family commitments and no "me time" for yourself. You are helping me when I read your Sparkpage, Old Vintage xx emoticon
    3255 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/27/2012 7:33:59 AM
    emoticon you are emoticon Who was it that said all we need to do is get up one more time than we fall?
    3262 days ago
    Frustrating when we feel that human side of ourselves...I have to track or I slip. This is my life...for the rest of my life. You'll get your balance again...all in time.
    3263 days ago
    Log away. I'm tired of being the main logger for fitness minutes on our hometown page. LOL Give me some healthy competition, please!
    3264 days ago
    It's ok Michelle....I know you are so much stronger than you think you are. Let's see more of you here on SP....and maybe come back to the team too??

    Whatever you decide, you are awesome - a true role model and I KNOW you will be back to where you want to be soon.
    3264 days ago
    I love the courage and the honesty in your blog. You will reach your goals again. And we'll be right here cheering for you as you do!
    3264 days ago
    I love the courage and the honesty in your blog. You will reach your goals again. And we'll be right here cheering for you as you do!
    3264 days ago
  • MARIJO150
    Wow, I can relate to your blog. I've experienced weightloss but not the ability to maintain it. Right now I am back in the time to lose weight cycle and hoping that once I hit goal I will be able to maintain . Loved the blog, thanks for sharing.
    3264 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9900916
    Awesome blog!
    3264 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.