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The Past Needs to Stay There

Friday, February 24, 2012

This morning I came into the school room to find my daughter writing a letter to the ex-adopted grandma. (My blog from yesterday explains my current place with all of this.) I asked her what she was doing and I was told "Daddy thinks I should write her a letter to tell her everything we've been doing." When I asked "Why?" her response was "Well, we haven't seen them in almost a year." EXACTLY is what I want to scream! What good will this serve? NONE! We have chosen to sever the relationship and have done a good job sheltering the kids about what happened so why does the hubby keep trying to open up the wound? Personally, there is no way this letter is getting mailed. I'll let dd write it, but I'm not sending it. I thought and prayed through it and honestly the reason I won't is because it would be hurtful to her when received AND God led us to this place of severing.

I guess I'm going to have to discuss this with the hubby again so he'll stop saying/doing this stuff. I know he misses Mike, but we have also stated we know this is best and we will never let the kids be with them alone again. There were too many negative words and criticisms from their end that can't be forgotten. I still feel some guilt over the emotional bullying that went on with dd and am working on moving beyond that.

Anyway....just needed to put it out there so that I'm not chewing on it all day long.

Ephesians 4:23 "You are being renewed in the spirit of your minds."

The devotion from "Breaking Free Day by Day" that I turned to this morning talked about strong relationships ending. "I can see the sincerity in their hearts. God has forgiven the sin, but the mental stronghold is still overwhelming. I know it takes perseverance to see this through, but many people give up before the old thoughts give out. Promise to give God your complete cooperation. Take time to renew your mind. You will be victorious, and Satan will be defeated."

Guessing I'm on the right path today.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow Janet, so sorry that you are still dealing with this. It cannot be easy, especially when one of the ones you are trying to protect is unitentionally making it harder. She's writing that letter from a place of safety, and you know it's your job to keep her there.

    I'm sorry for you DH losing his friend, but he must not "get it" that encouraging Meagann to be in contact makes it harder to move away from missing her friend. At least her letter will give you a window into how she's really feeling about it now.

    Prayers for you, and your DH that you continue to do what's best for ALL parties concerned.

    2839 days ago
  • TINATC26
    tough stuff, Janet.. I have the advantage of having read the whole story now, and I'm glad that you have resolved this with DH. In my opinion, you are absolutely doing the right thing for yourself and more importantly, for your children, by keeping that door closed. Will keep you in my prayers over this..
    2840 days ago
    So glad you are able to put this in God's hands. Praying...
    2842 days ago
    2843 days ago
    I hope you and hubby come to an agreement and are able to stick with it. You can't get sucked back into that unhealthy relationship. Especially if there has been no apology or change of heart.

    2843 days ago
    Sorry to hear what you are dealing with. A difficult situation for sure. :( Praying for all involved. emoticon
    2843 days ago
    I am so sorry to hear this has reared its ugly head again. You and I have been through so much with the devil in the past year or so and I remember deeply what you went through last year with this person.

    Kids don't always remember all the bad stuff as deeply as we do though so your DD may still have hope that the situation ends with her still being in G-ma's life. How come sometimes the people who care the most about kids' well being are the ones that look like the bad guy sometimes (as in you and I when we are protective of our kids)?

    Praying for you! Stay strong and prayerful!
    2843 days ago
    Janet - I hope that you get this resolved soon. I think that you have the right idea. Leave it in God's hands. Sending hugs!
    2843 days ago
    Well, it can serve as something to let your daughter express some things that she wants to express.

    2843 days ago
    You are on my heart and in my prayers. I know this isn't easy. emoticon
    2843 days ago
    Ai yi yi.

    emoticon emoticon
    2843 days ago
    2843 days ago
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