Sunday, April 22, 2012
I know you're not supposed to beat yourself up when you fail but I really feel like doing just that right now. It's been 4 months since I tracked my weight. I was doing pretty well at the time, not setting any records with rapid weight loss or running marathons but definitely showing signs of improving, replacing bad habits with good and really focused.
What happened? 20 pounds happened. Tax season happened. Holidays happened. Fast food breakfast and lunches happened. But really that's not an accurate way of expressing what really happened because that somehow states that I played a passive role in all of it when really I am responsible for all of the bad choices I made. I chose to deal with a stressful day with a couple cocktails instead of logging some time on the treadmill or popping in Just Dance to flail around ridiculously for a half hour (which amazingly boosts my spirits).
So there's really nothing left to do at this point but put the past behind me (I wish I could put my behind in the past as Pumba puts it) and start over. After all, it's not the first time I started over, I've done it many times before, sometimes on a much smaller scale, other times with many more backsliding pounds to work off.
The important thing is that I'm back up on my horse. I have not given up on myself and I forgive myself for abusing my body for the last 4 months.
I will not be at my goal weight for my daughter's wedding in August and I'm definitely not prancing around in a bikini on the beach this summer but I will feel better about myself as I'm making progress toward my goals and returning to my good healthy habits.
Today I will plan my meals for the week and go for a walk. My first baby step.