When did I wear these clothes and what did that women look like?
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Hello! So, I came onto Spark this morning after quite a long absence and I was looking for inspiration. I am back into running and a limited diet without carbs because that is what seems to work for me and to fend off my joint pain and I was so happy that I FOUND it!
I clicked on the "Hot Topics" section where someone had started a topic about what weight loss has done for you and what is the best thing about weighing less. Well, I agreed with all of the people....smaller clothes, being able to shop at the "trendy" stores, even better sex! So, I was about to move on to another topic and I saw one post about a person that had lost the weight that she put on when she was going through a particularly rough time in her life four years ago. So, I started thinking......what is my weight gain from? When did I really start getting fat? When I started dating my high school sweetheart and after we were dating for about a year I went prom dress shopping and realized that I was up a size in dresses. I was convinced that I was a cow. Of course, those dresses that were up a size were a horrible size 12/13 - imagine - how HUGE
If only my 36 year old self could talk to my 17 year old self and wake her up.
Well, my boyfriend and I broke up and the weight stayed on, but then I lost it again after a couple years. Just in time to snag my hubby. And, looking back now I do not know how the progression went, but I just chunked out. And chunked out. We got married and I think my weight then was about 200 or 210 then we moved out to Illinois and I didn't have a job.....I think I just got carried away and paid no attention at all to what I was eating. Exercise was not on my radar until I was in the 260's I think. From about 200lbs to my highest weight of 276 is just a blur. How did that happen? I have no recollection of what my body was like or my life was like when I weighed 220 or 240 or 215. It is like someone pressed fast forward on my life and when they hit play again I was 276lbs. I am 237 right now and I can't remember when the last time was that I was this weight. I have clothes in my closet that I know I wore because the hems are worn and they have other wear spots on them. That means that I wore them, definitely more than once. When? If I am a weight that I can't even remember being, and I can't fit into these jeans now, that means I was smaller than I am now. I know these clothes aren't more than 10 years old. Was I part of a science project that erased my memory?
Anyone else have this problem? Needless to say, this is my much needed inspiration today. To get those years back in the form of living my life to the fullest right now and working toward knowing what 215 feels like, and 200, and 190, and 180! Hope you are right there with me in my journey! What is the lowest weight that you remember living?