Thursday, April 26, 2012
"I was like a docile lamb led to slaughter. I didn't know that they had devised plots against me."
I shake my head and marvel that I once thought the only people captive were the spiritually lost. God pried open my comfortably closed mind in the most effective way: from the inside out.
If anyone had told me that Christians could be in bondage, I would have argued with all the volume a person can muster when a yoke of slavery is strangling her neck. I was the worst kind of captive: a prisoner unaware, the kind of prisoner most vulnerable to her captors, the easiest prey there is. A Christian is held captive by anything that hinders the abundant and effective Spirit-filled life God planned for him or her.
(Beth Moore: Breaking Free Day by Day)
Today I was easy prey. I'm not feeling 100% and my hormones are out of whack so it was easy for the evil one to find a fissure and begin his work. He knows an easy way to get to me is through my little boy and it worked quite well. My joy was out the window within minutes of sitting down to teach him a new math concept. Thankfully I could tell someone was trying to take me captive and I said, "No." Doesn't mean my joy is completely back, but at least I was working on it.
Another area of bondage this devotion made me think about is my weight. You'd think I'd have this whipped by now as I know what it takes to succeed. Why is it so hard to just say "Let's do it!" and stick with it? I know...years of using weight to hide from the real issues. My weight would push some people away and that's just what I needed. It would have been better to learn how to not care about those hurtful people and gain strength and self-confidence, but when you are young and you keep hearing "not good enough" you begin to believe those other people are right and the hiding begins. As life continues while living in that pit it gets deeper and harder to climb out of especially when others are still saying "not good enough." Why can't I hear the voices saying "YOU are good enough. YOU are special. YOU are caring. YOU have so much potential for the kingdom." be the ones I hear. I know they are said more often than the negative. Just shows you the powerful hold the evil one has when the wound is left open and not dealt with.
Today I will claim the positive. "I am fearfully and wonderfully made!" "The joy of the Lord is my strength!" "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."