When is enough enough?

Saturday, April 28, 2012

I am struggling....

I have been maintaining a decent weight (+/- only a couple pounds) since Dec 1. I currently weigh 128 pounds. This is a fabulous weight for me (how could it not be right?). Although I have never been really heavy, I think my highest (non-pregnancy related) weight was 149 pounds; for my stature that is a lot. I am tiny; tiny boned, tiny frame, tiny everything except the fat. Here is a picture of me at my heaviest pregnancy weight (about 190+). This is just days after my second was born.

And here is me now:

I look at this picture and i think, "Wow, I look good" right? No question; generally speaking I feel good. I have more energy, I can walk farther, I can do more things, I am less tired. But am I happy???? And if I am not, then why the hell not? Well, most likely, this is why:

Never under estimate the price of a good pair of jeans emoticon. I still have a ways to go... This is the remainder of my baby belly. But it isn't just there. I still have quite a bit on my back and my legs. So when is enough enough? Is it when you see daylight between your legs? Because right now I can't???

How much is too much and how much is not enough?

Is it a weight, a size, body fat, an impression or a feeling? I have the first two, but the not rest, so where is the line??????????????????????????

Shouldn't I be happy at 128 pounds and a size 4, even though I am still 26% body fat?

So why am I not? And why, now that i am the size that I am, Am I finding it so damn difficult to keep working out? I have lost this weight and done it in fairly good order (my youngest is 2 as of last week, I weighed 190 when she was born and 128 today, aka 62 pounds lost in 2 years) That is something to be proud of, but I can't make it work for me. I have no desire to keep working out and take care of the last remaining fat.

What do you do when you are there in so many ways, but not every way????

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    you are doing great, congrats, and the baby tummy takes time, be patience. hugs
    3232 days ago
    That baby tummy is the hardest to lose and the last to go...I still have it as well and my youngest is 6...seems to come of everywhere else but there...I too think you look AWESOME but I too have to hide the gut...and know how it makes me feel having to do that... emoticon
    3233 days ago
  • JANDK156
    I wish I could dial my body back in time to the summer after my first was born (bikini pic on my spark page photos), or heck, take me back to 14 or 15 cos in spite of what my anorexic mother told me then, I didn't realize I was perfect then. Unfortunately, that isn't possible. Skin stretches, areas that were smooth and firm don't bounce back like we'd like. I think you look terrific but you don't like "the remainder of your baby belly". If it really bothers you, why not aim for 5 more pounds off and focus on tightening your core with ST? Again, I think you look great, but YOU have to be happy and feel good, not me emoticon
    3233 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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