I am struggling....
I have been maintaining a decent weight (+/- only a couple pounds) since Dec 1. I currently weigh 128 pounds. This is a fabulous weight for me (how could it not be right?). Although I have never been really heavy, I think my highest (non-pregnancy related) weight was 149 pounds; for my stature that is a lot. I am tiny; tiny boned, tiny frame, tiny everything except the fat. Here is a picture of me at my heaviest pregnancy weight (about 190+). This is just days after my second was born.
And here is me now:
I look at this picture and i think, "Wow, I look good" right? No question; generally speaking I feel good. I have more energy, I can walk farther, I can do more things, I am less tired. But am I happy???? And if I am not, then why the hell not? Well, most likely, this is why:
Never under estimate the price of a good pair of jeans
. I still have a ways to go... This is the remainder of my baby belly. But it isn't just there. I still have quite a bit on my back and my legs. So when is enough enough? Is it when you see daylight between your legs? Because right now I can't???
How much is too much and how much is not enough?
Is it a weight, a size, body fat, an impression or a feeling? I have the first two, but the not rest, so where is the line??????????????????????????
Shouldn't I be happy at 128 pounds and a size 4, even though I am still 26% body fat?
So why am I not? And why, now that i am the size that I am, Am I finding it so damn difficult to keep working out? I have lost this weight and done it in fairly good order (my youngest is 2 as of last week, I weighed 190 when she was born and 128 today, aka 62 pounds lost in 2 years) That is something to be proud of, but I can't make it work for me. I have no desire to keep working out and take care of the last remaining fat.
What do you do when you are there in so many ways, but not every way????