I’ve seen XL from both sides
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Losing 80 pounds meant at one point, XL, was a triumph. XL was not shopping in the “plus sizes.” XL was a milestone, I cherished and celebrated.
Then I learned how small I had to be to reach a healthy BMI. Medium. Smaller than I was in high school, OMG, I can’t believe I look like this, reached my goal, damn look at me in this dress, medium! My body went from a size 22 to a size 8-10.
Unfortunately my head went to crazy with a side trip to fantasy land. I stopped acting on what I knew to be true: exercising and eating consciously would maintain my weight at a healthy BMI. I thought all the work was easier than expected so I didn’t need to worry about weight gain (crazy). I thought I could lose any gain in a week or two (fantasy). I thought since I wasn’t my heaviest, I was okay (the view from Egypt is great from this river). I thought my excuses counted.
So now I’m a size 14, an XL once again. And this side is not celebratory. This side is embarrassing, humbling and just plain yucky. Mostly embarrassing. It shows on my thighs that I acted against my own self interest.
When I’m struggling on the treadmill, I try to understand what led me to this side of XL. Mostly I try to remember and believe I am once again passing through XL on my way back to a healthy BMI.
This is my record of how I lost weight and got healthy, yet again.