PATTYCAKE17

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The how-to process that works for me

Sunday, July 22, 2012

I got a really good night's sleep again last night and I woke up with a temporary backache, but feeling very refreshed. Feeling so good, my next step was a vow to put the indulgences, both food and emotional, of the past several days behind and move on. So that's what I'm doing. But a new series of events led to my ability to say and do that today.
As usual, I put my life under a microscope like a student trying to decipher the nuances of an inch worm. I developed this ability, or practice, when I was in Overeaters Anonymous and could not eat ANYTHING between meals, or it would be a break in abstinance; so in order to figure out why I was craving something to eat when I wasn't hungry, which was very painfulfor me, I would backtrack the events leading up to the "hunger." As an emotional eater I usually could trace back to an event or feeling that caused the hunger, and once uncovered, I had an AHA moment and resolved the issue if I could, or just understood it, accepted it, and got past it. It worked every time! Many times I had to go back and "handle" something I let slide and then would eat over.
My daughter came over last night to bring me a new Trac phone card and put the minutes on the phone for me. I still haven't mastered this, and can't do it on line because my phone is too old. The minutes didn't go on properly , so she had to call Trac, via India, of course, LOL. So it took a while for her to be able to understand the instructions coming from the other end! After a half hour, however, I finally wound up with my original minutes, the new minutes, and a new time expiration. My daughter had agreed to stay for dinner which was a pizza delivery, and it took a little longer than she had hoped for, but we had a great time together, and a few laughs for a change. We also had freshly made Italian cannolis for dessert. I realized that I was craving my family more than food, even though I managed to put away at least 2 or 3 slices of Sicilian. Faced with a barrage of families all week and young kids, my emotions were stressed without my even realizing it. Seeing my daughter was what triggered this for me. So I know this was what was eating away at me all week long because as I write this, I'm getting teary. I miss my older daughter so much, and so much of their youth was our involvement with church and youth groups. It was a joy, and yet an unacknowledged pain at the same time, to serve at VBS last week.
So now that I can acknowledge what stressed me and threw me off course, I have to plan for next year differently if God willing, I'm able to participate next year. I don't like to make the same mistake twice. It's like a policy I have in life. So I will prepare differently and be able to talk to someone about it as I go through it. That's my plan for next year. For this year, I have returned to healthy eating as of today's breakfast, to be in better shape for next year!! I have blogged and shared my experience not only to help myself, but in the hope that it will jog a memory or provide a tool for someone else.
It's all part of the process, but I have to share this also: when I pray about my trouble, no matter how small, the Lord always brings forth an answer and with that brings comfort and peace, as well. So I try in a small way to give back what has been so freely given to me. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • TRACYZABELLE
    I have a coworker who always has me update his tracphone as well!!
    3043 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10429908
    I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, VBS. FOR MANY YEARS, I VOLUNTEERED. SINCE THERE IS SO LITTLE I CAN DO AND IT IS ALWAYS TERRIBLY HOT DURING THAT TIME, I WOULD GET THE KIDS IN THE SHADE OR EVEN INSIDE, AND JUST HAVE THEM SIT QUIETLY SO I COULD READ TO THEM. I LOVED IT AND IT GAVE THEM A CHANCE TO COOL DOWN A LITTLE. WE ACTUALLY HAD A COUPLE WITH HEAT PROSTRATION ONCE. NOW WE HAVE A NEW PASTOR WHO DOESN'T FEEL MY SERVICES ARE NEEDED. HIS LOSS IN MY OPINION. YOU NEVER, EVER WANT TO ALIENATE VOLUNTEERS. THEN WHEN YOU NEED THEM, THEY HAVE NO TIME FOR YOU.
    ERIN
    3045 days ago
  • MARITIMER3
    You are really getting a lot of insight into why you over-eat. I think this kind of understanding is the first step to successfully losing weight.
    3045 days ago
  • EATVEGAN
    Glad for you that you are able to find the source for your emotional eating. My eating isn't e emotional, but as I examine what I've done, it helps me to not do it again. emoticon
    Janet
    3046 days ago
  • MEDDYPEDDY
    I have learned that I am much more sensitive than I ever realised. Very small things can rock my balance and since I accepted that it has become easier to handle the cravings - if I share whatever is troubling me the craving will go. away
    Thanks for sharing!
    3046 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2332407
    emoticon
    3046 days ago
  • NELLJONES
    I'm glad you had someone to deal with phone call stress, and it worked out. I understand completely the need for family. Why does it always involve food, though? I'm the cook and they expect it I guess. That 4th step stuff is tough, isn't it? Have you gone over it with a sponsor? That outside view is sometimes an eye opener.
    3046 days ago
  • JEANNE229
    Yay!
    3046 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2701801
    ah very good..! You can do this and i am here if you need someone..! ;)
    3046 days ago
  • IOWAGRAMMA
    emoticon emoticon Great job on sorting it all out, Patty! Hugs!
    3047 days ago
  • JILL313
    Interesting thoughts, thank you for your insight. It's great you could spend some quality time with your DD and I sure wish I was more electronically inclined as depend too much on my sons for that kind of thing. Enjoy your Day and the upcoming week. Your thoughts are very helpful to me Patty--Thank you for sharing them.

    Love,

    Jill
    3047 days ago
  • SUGARSMOM2
    yes your call is important to us . we will answer your call in the order we received them . push one for ..... good time is had by all . this alone is enough to make you run for the hills . you are lucky that you can trace where you messed up . for me i never know . can not figure it out no matter how much i try . I know i am fat and want to be thinner . I can go so far and then bamb someone or something makes me say the heck with this and i am off eating like a crazed nut . perhaps someday i will get it right .good luck . emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3047 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12615218
    I'm so happy for your break through! Emotions, eating and exercising are so tied together, aren't they? Your insights are beautiful. I'm glad you had such a good time with your daughter and she was able to help you with your phone.

    3047 days ago
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